Finally it is time to reveal my secret. So many of you have said to me: "Seán, you look sort of ... different. What has changed?" What has changed is that over the last 5 months or so I have been sweating away what little remained of my dignity lumbering around South London in a pair of Lycra shorts and a nylon vest generating enough static to make me glow in the dark. That lumpy shape with the chapped nipples and the John McEnroe headband? That was me.

I have come a long way. A few short months ago I was just a fat gym-shy barrister. Now I'm a fat gym-shy barrister with blisters, knees that grind like a ship's rigging and a huge collection of towelling wristbands.

Someone will pay for this indignity. Hopefully it will be you. I promise to pass the money on.

Sean