I‘ve always had walking the Camino De Santiago on my bucket list - who hasn’t? But let’s be honest, the prospect of weeks of walking in the hot sun, staying in hostels and living out of a backpack prevented it from ever rising to the top of my list.

Then on 25th August 2021, life as I knew it changed forever. I became a mother and held my beautiful identical twin baby boys until they passed away. You see they were born too early - they shouldn't even have been alive when they came.

There’s a whole sorry back-story to why my boys were born at 21 weeks and 4 days…a story I’ve struggled to write every day since I started the camino. And I fear I will have reached Santiago by the time I will be able to articulate it succinctly and I won’t have collected a penny in their memory. So at risk of doing a disservice to how my sons came into the world, let’s just say the highlights (or should I say lowlights) include the boys getting a diagnosis of Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS) at 20w, swiftly followed by laser ablation surgery - which tragically not only fixed and treated the boys’ TTTS but also resulted in my bowel being accidentally perforated in the process. Cue a rollercoaster of emergency surgery, several life/death decisions and an ocean of tears.

Everything that could have gone wrong for us, did. Mistakes were made, luck was not on our side and two lives were lost. But in the midst of all the tragedy, I experienced instances of what can only be described as divine intervention. And people have crossed my path who have surely been sent to help me. Ruaidhrí and Tadhg were such little warriors - I am sure they came early to save my life and I know they fought hard to be alive to give me the gift of meeting them.

Walking to honour my sons

And so I‘ve finally decided to walk the Camino de Santiago de Compostela - but now for reasons way beyond just ticking it off the bucket list. I am completely unfit and unprepared, having just decided a week before my one-way flight to Porto, and have zero sense of direction. I dont know if I’ll last a day, a week or how long it will take to walk the 270km coastal route from Porto to Santiago de Compostela. But I’m going to give it a crack - afterall, the worst has already happened….

I walk to honour my warrior boys - for all the steps they will never take, I carry them in my heart instead of holding their hands beside me.

I walk in memory of all the other angel babies in my Twins Trust Bereavement Support Group - I carry them on my shirt so pilgrims I meet from all over the world will know their names.

I walk to give thanks - for the kindness of strangers and the help of charities I never knew I would need.

I would like to take this opportunity of making this pilgrimage to try raise some vital funds to support some of the charities that have been of such support to me. 

Remember my Baby is a charity which works with bereaved parents to take beautiful pictures of families with their babies. I am eternally grateful for these precious memories that I will have forever and help me keep Ruaidhrí and Tadhg’s memories alive.

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