Having developed crippling Postnatal Depression after the birth of our first daughter, and wanting to stay focused on my health after the birth of our second daughter, I signed up to run this race while still pregnant. Training for this half marathon has helped me reclaim my body, my mind, and my identity after taking on motherhood for a second time. It is also affording me the chance to give back to The Cedar House Support Group, the charity that helped bring me back to life after PND threatened to claim me and the happiness of my family.

The road to making my lifelong dream of becoming a mother was not nearly the smooth journey I had imagined it would be. Suffering two miscarriages before finally carrying our first daughter healthily to term was no small feat. Neither was its crushing aftermath. 

The toll the experience took on my body, my spirit, and my mind was devastating. The physical struggles began in the third trimester with what was most likely undiagnosed preeclampsia, followed by a traumatic delivery which left our beautiful baby girl in the NICU for her first week and me with injuries requiring weekly physical therapy sessions during the first 13 months of motherhood. This was followed by surgery to correct what the physio could not. 

Then there was the Postnatal Depression. The PND and its debilitating anxiety nearly destroyed my sanity and my will to live. Riddled with guilt and a profound sense of failure, I truly believed my young family would be better without me. Suicidal thoughts brought me and my 11 week old to a crisis clinic where I was immediately diagnosed with PND and placed on a low dose of antidepressants. I was released from care almost immediately as the medication worked to eradicate any thoughts of hurting myself. However, I was still unwell and I lived life for the next 17 months simply existing with no joy, no sense of identity, numb to positive emotions, and unable to relax enough to enjoy our thriving baby girl without being overtaken by anxiety about her safety. 

Finally I found The Cedar House Support Group run by counsellor Liz Wise. This incredible group allowed mothers experiencing their own PND battles to meet in a safe, confidential, and nonjudgemental setting. Providing each of us the opportunity to feel validated in our personal struggles with this illness, the group became a weekly lifeline allowing us the space to normalise our experiences in a world that too often feels unsupportive and isolating. Along with the support of other women going through a similar experience, Liz was always there to help guide us through our recoveries and ultimately back to ourselves. 

It is my honour to be able to give something back to the charity that provided more than my family or I could ever repay. Thank you to all who support me in running this race and to all who support The Cedar House Support Group!!