On the 16^th of September 2018, Chloe and I are rowing the Boston Marathon. This may seem unlikely if you are thinking of the mean streets of Boston, Massachusetts but we are heading to the gentle plains of Lincolnshire, home of culinary delights such as haselts and stuffed chine, to conquer the river Witham and row the 50kms between Lincoln and Boston.  Previous participants have included James Cracknell who completed it in 3.5 hours, but he is 6’4 and an Olympian so that won’t be happening. As we are “novice” (stepped into a boat for the first time a year ago) “masters” (kinder way of saying veterans), our sole ambition is that we complete the course before it closes after 7 hours and everyone has gone home with the shiny blankets and the
penguin biscuits and the organisers ask us to help clear up.

In way of preparation we have done the following:

1. Learnt to row – a key move and not entirely sure if
   that should be in the past tense at all. This included learning how to “work the
   slacks” and the tideway rules, and sit an actual test.
2. Got up at 5.30 am most weekends to row on an ergo
   machine for hours in a cold, blank, room built in 1968 and totally unmodernised apart from the tv hanging tantalizingly on the wall which DOES NOT WORK.
3. Rowed WHATEVER the weather. Torrential rain, howling wind,
   sleet verging on ice storm, horizontal snow blizzard and baking hot sun.
4. Endured blisters on our hands not seen since the eradication of leprosy.
5. Carpal tunnel syndrome and the curative steroid injection. (Thanks Leanne)
6. Stepping into, wading about and falling in the River Thames
   with our bare skin while blocking thoughts of what the constituents of the flotsam brushing past our ankles might be.
7. Tried various different permutations of seats in an effort to ease the horrific bum pain that starts at the 9^th kilometer.

So why on earth are we doing this? Well in 2016 I was diagnosed with a brain tumour which was mostly dispatched via retrosigmoid craniotomy  by the extraordinary, amazing Mr.Neil Kitchen and his team, and Prof Shakeel Saeed at the hospital of Neurology and Neurosurgery in Queen’s Square London. I say mostly dispatched as they kindly were conservative with the removal so as not to damage my facial nerve and leave me unable to close my left eye, or smile and I like doing both those things a lot. I did lose the ability to cry with my left eye (I do miss a good sob but I like smiling more) and they had to sacrifice my left balance nerve. This left a residul piece of tumour. No messing around with Mr Kitchen, in 2017 I underwent Gamma Knife surgery to deal with the residual, the success of which will be ascertained in 2019. I am of
course more interested in the development of superpowers resulting from the Gamma ray exposure and when you see me on the street with my pants over my tights and a cape on, you’ll know that I probably didn’t have to drive there and that the area will be experiencing a zero crime rate and that the Gamma Knife worked.

The National Brain Appeal raises money for the the National Hospital for Neurology and Neurosurgery and the Institue for Neurology (Queen’s Square). These two institutions are at the forefront of neurological research and major advances in the treatment of conditions such as epilepsy, MS, Parkinson’s disease, dementia, stroke, brain and spinal cancer. The Appeal funds pioneering research, provides access to the
best technology for diagnosis and treatment and trains tomorrow’s clinicians. I stayed on the Molly Lane Fox Ward which is part of the Molly Lane Fox Unit, the UK’s first dedicated brain tumour unit. This was funded by The National Brain appeal. One in six people in the UK today are affected by a neurological condition, either through birth, through injury or a slowly developing illness. That’s probably more than you thought. So give as much as you can please..

Finally I would absolutely be unable to do any of this with the extraordinary support , tenacity, patience and encouragement of Chloe and the tacit agreement the neither of us would be the first to wimp out on training; no hangover too debilitating, no sleep to short, no virus too severe, no excuses ever. Barn Elms Boat Club and our ever patient coach Charlotte, who seems to have more faith in us than we do in ourselves who followed us in a launch, teaching us, throughout all that weather and lent us the all important BOAT to do it (and threw in the oars for free). Rod and James  for looking after the kids -a lot.Kirsty for helping me with this page and it's distribution. Mathew and Annunziata for hosting us in Lincolnshire. And of course my amazing friend  Jules, has been to every doctor's  appointment with me, was there when I woke up from my op, kept me breathing in times of panic (many times of panic) and has been the truest most constant friend a person could ever have - and if she hasn't been supportive enough, she's our support team up in Lincs. Thank you all so much  - I hope to make you proud.

Fran

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