The Firgrove Centre has been vital to us in our first year grieving the loss of our son, Orion, who was stillborn at just 25 weeks on the 8th December 2018. The centre provides open ended, one-to-one counselling for those affected by miscarriage, stillbirth, pre/post-abortion, post-adoption and unintended pregnancy. They also provide discreet pregnancy testing to those who seek it. It is not government funded, and relies solely on donations, just like this one.

The NHS did all they could for us in the days that followed Orion’s death, such as caring for him while he was still at the hospital and arranging the funeral for us. Beyond that, there was nothing they could do. Bereavement midwives would call us every day, every other day and then eventually once a week to see how we were doing. Remarkably, counselling on the NHS is not offered as standard to bereaved parents at this time.

The services that The Firgrove Centre provide are extremely rare. Private counselling is expensive and simply not an option for many. The NHS is able to offer up to 12 weeks of Cognative Behavioural Therapy following GP or self-referral (if available in your area) and assessment but wait lists are long and CBT only works on roughly half of those who receive it. 

This is where The Firgrove Centre comes in. By offering open ended counselling this allows people to learn the tools they need to move forward with their trauma. Your loss could have been decades ago or you may not have carried the baby yourself and you can go back after your counselling has ended if you need to. It’s all up to you.

Having had counselling much earlier on my life I had the idea to ask if such a service existed. I am extraordinarily lucky in that I am local, and it’s only a short drive away. I went every week, for months and I quickly realised how fortunate I am to have this invaluable service on my doorstep; many parents travel miles to receive such care following their loss, if they receive any at all. Most are simply left to deal with their grief alone. 

After our own son died, my eyes were well and truly opened to how incredibly common baby loss is. 1 in 4 people experience baby loss of some kind. I joined a Facebook group dedicated to parents who had lost a child, either by miscarriage, stillbirth or SIDS. New people joined the group every day, freshly grieving.

This is why The Firgrove Centre is so important. With figures as high as they are there are thousands of people that are left unsupported following the loss of their child. If it were up to me, there would be centres like The Firgrove up and down the UK but for now, all I can do, is give back to the place that made one of the hardest times that little bit more bearable. 

If we are able to raise the full £1250 it would effectively pay for one year of counselling for one person, or one session for fifty people. Each session costs the centre £25 and while they do encourage their patients to donate, at no point is it mandatory.

Even if you can’t donate at this time, thank you for reading our story, it means a lot to us.

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