***THREE PEAKS DONE! SEE BELOW FOR UPDATE***Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.

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Jigsaw4u helped to support me and my children immensely when they lost their dad suddenly in 2000. Their seven week grief support programme helped my daughter Janique especially (aged two-and-a half when her father died) to release sadness she was experiencing, aided her acceptance and helped to answer the recurring question "where daddy gone?" by 'playing' activities such as "the anger wall", making memory boxes and releasing balloons in her dad's memory.  Daniel, my son, was too young to remember his dad but he was still able to take part in all the activities. They helped with my grief.

Today Jigsaw4u, a charity based in Mitcham, remain as supportive as ever to children and young people who have lost a parent or other significant person in their lives or have experienced trauma. The grief support programme helps them to put the pieces back together. They do a grand job and I don't think have received enough recognition for the outreach that they do for individuals and families.

Because of that, when I was invited to take part in Three Peaks Challenge by my wonderful Bootcamp Fitness Instructors /Personal Trainers, Darren Gray (Founder) and Altesse Kyezu at FitFunActive.co.uk it was a natural response to support this organisation (after thinking they must be joking of course!! - can't be talking to me surely?..) No - it wasn't a joke - so a 20 strong team of the FitFunActive members and I will be taking on this exciting task.

The Three Peaks Challenge involves climbing the three highest peaks in the UK - Scafell Pike in England, Ben Nevis in Scotland and Snowdon in Wales in a 24 hour period. We set off on Friday 22nd May for the ten hour journey to Scotland and the challenge begins at 6am Saturday.

For me, the Three Peaks symbolically represents the journey of grief - what at first sight looks like the arduous mountainous insurmountable road ahead, the thought that one will never make it, taking one tiny step at a time on an uphill struggle before reaching the pinnacle and the victorious feelings it brings with it, coming back (sometimes crashing) down to low points before having to start all over again. 

Then, after navigating the peaks and troughs of this roller coaster ride, walking away, looking back, and thinking "I did it - and I survived".

Physically, I have never done a challenge of this scale before, but my mental, emotional and spiritual self has preceded it.

I am ready for the challenge.

I have a target of raising £250.00 for the charity - this will help to provide a group with 'memory books' and 'memory boxes' for the children, memory 'salt jar's, certificates of achievement, balloons and gas for 'balloon release' weekend, candles for 'candlelit ceremony' and paint for the children to express themselves on a weekend or weekly group (plus more). We still have ours and will keep them forever - they mean everything to the children - invaluable.

Wish me luck and - please - give generously if you can, or as little as you are able. 

Thank you for your support!

Keep an eye out for posting on this page for updates as I / we complete the task.

Jacquie xx

In loving memory of my dear husband Keith Bullen.

UPDATE:

To all my lovely sponsors. I have to say what a totally amazing experience it was to climb the three peaks!  OMG! It was simply an experience of a lifetime though I didn't get to the top of all the peaks!! Just Ben Nevis. In sum for each peak:

Ben Nevis - the first one. This took me around five hours to reach the top! I got to pretty much the top - until I saw the snow. I contemplated for about 20 minutes if I could make it - hearing lots of different stories from those passing me about why I should or shouldn't try it! Eventually I waited for some team mates Michael and Pauline and Darren our instructor (Ali at the front leading for all the peaks, Darren at the back for the slower one's - that was almost always me and Pauline!) I went on ahead and having finally made it I got to see….. nothing! The clouds had come in. So we were in the foggy clouds in the snow with zero visibility. But at least I made it! In fact Ali and I were making our way down but we went back again with Pauline and Darren so spent even more time on the summit with nothing to see!

Scafell Pike - this was by far THE MOST challenging. We were running about three hours behind schedule by now so we set off at around 11pm to do this peak. Obviously pitch black with nothing but our head torches for visibility. Around just over 3 hours into to climb and it was pouring with rain, freezing and, well, very dark. We were almost at the top of the peak (we believe) but a member of the group had had enough and could not continue so the decision by Ali and Darren was made to make our way back. I wasn't objecting - the tears were flowing! Then we got lost!  All energies were placed in the wrong direction as someone shone a torch only to find we were headed towards the mountain edge! Off we reluctantly went back to where we came from to find someone shining a light from another group.  They seemed quite experienced so told us to follow them. We did but couldn't keep up but by then Ali and some wonderful navigators in the group helped us to follow the path. Had some wonderful and people holding my hand - Ben, Michael, Darren especially and the girls encouraging me, it was an awesome team spirit in there regardless. We arrived back at the coach around 4.45am. (apparently there was another group on Instagram who also got lost that night taking them ten hours in total - made ours feel like a walk in the park).

Snowdon - now this is the most interesting one for me because I had made a decision half way up the climb not to continue.  So this was a personal choice. I made an error in looking up!  (I learnt very quickly from Ben Nevis not to look down nor up!).  I saw the clouds coming in again and thought I really didn't want to take all the hours to get up there to see - nothing!! As well, although we were supposed to have taken the 'smooth' path - well it wasn't that smooth!  The wind was blowing really heavily and I felt like it was going to blow me off the cliff!  Most of my team mates did though - they said they couldn't see anything at first and then it was like a balloon popping and everything was suddenly clear - so all the effort was worth it. What a shame I didn't continue I felt disappointed at that moment and wished I had continued. It was however a really good opportunity for me to have some personal time as up until that point it was all go go go and going up the peaks I spent most of my time trying to keep up the pace. So there I was in the middle of mount Snowdon at a point of reflection in thinking of why I was there doing the challenge in the first place. Thinking about everything I had been through in the last 14 years after losing my husband and the horrible aftermath thereof, how life changed. Where I am today and where my future is headed.  I respectfully buried a lot of my past on that mountain, the sorts of things that hold you back including all the negative energies that surround losing a loved one. I was at a point of readiness to change things so the time that I had was perfect. Michael my team mate was patiently waiting for me some way down the mountain.  When I was ready we took a - slowish - walk down without the pressure of having to keep up, chatting and sharing whilst "enjoying" the stunning views of the mountain around us. It really was  something awesome.

So there you have it. This is by far one of THE most incredible moments of my life. When I lost my husband I faced all of those peaks and troughs mentally, emotionally and spiritually that I had no choice but to navigate - it was full of sadness, hurt and disappointment. This time round I have turned that on its head - I still faced the peaks and troughs not only physically but yet still mentally and psychologically  - but this time I had a choice - and this time it is full of a sense of achievement and pride.  I am proud of what I have achieved this weekend. Can't say I'll do it again though to be fair. Shared some wonderful times with my fellow fitfunners - lots of laughter, tears, hugs, sweat and cuddles. Thank you all for the fantastic support you have given to me - I am overwhelmed by your generosity. I have shared this truly amazing experience with some truly amazing people - in person and in spirit.

Mountains of love,

Jacquie xxxx

Best investment ever - walking boots and - walking poles!! (Sports Direct £9.99!) Never knew a pair of sticks could become my best friend!!!!

Videos to bring it all alive follow soon...