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We have set up this memory page in tribute to our beautiful sister Jill,

who sadly lost her battle with cancer on 13th March 2010.

Jill was a wonderful caring person, who loved life. One of Jills many

gifts was to listen and throughout her life her desire to help others will

always be remembered.

 

To help keep Jills memory alive we have also set up a charity fund

in celebration of her life.

                The Jill Lewis Celebrate A Life Charity Fund

                                         In aid of the               

                      Pretty 'n' Pink Breast Cancer Charity

 

 We would like to raise as much money as we can to help anyone in a similar situation. We hope Jill would be proud that we are doing this in her name.

Jill was a devoted wife to her husband Gary, a wonderful sister and a terrific auntie.

                              

                   JILL’S STORY

 

 The first photograph we have posted is of our beautiful sister Jill, pictured fulfilling one of her dreams, to swim with Dolphins. 

 

 Jill had, like the rest of us, many dreams and ambitions, but it was not to be as tragically Jill died on 13th March 2010, aged 45, after a courageous battle with breast cancer.  Jill is survived by her husband of 23 years,Gary and her sisters Linda, myself Diane and Elaine and this is her story -:   

 

On 24th August 2005 Jill found a lump in her breast and not wanting to worry her husband Gary or the rest of the family, she went alone to the City Hospital for tests.  On 19th September she got the results - it was the worst possible news – HER2 +, the most aggressive form of breast cancer. 

 

 Gary and the all the family were devastated but Jill remained positive and it broke our hearts when she told us that she was glad it was her and not any of her sisters who all had a family.  Jill was admitted to the City Hospital and on 27th September had a mastectomy followed by a gruelling regime of chemotherapy and radiotherapy.

  

 The prognosis wasn’t good – only a 40% chance of surviving for five years.  We all took it in turns going to the hospital with Jill to have her chemotherapy.  It was a real shock walking out of the lift for the first time in the Bridgewater Suite of the City Hospital seeing so many people, men, women, young, old. Cancer does not discriminate.  It takes no account of age or gender, good or bad.

 

During this time Jill was made redundant from her job where she had worked for 17 years.  She faced this news with her usual optimism and said that if she hadn’t had cancer, this news would have made her think it was the end of the world but instead she started job hunting.   Jill completed an application form for a position in a new company being set up in Northern Ireland and was called for an interview.

 

The selection procedure included a presentation and we all told Jill it was too much for her as she was undergoing chemotherapy at the time but she went ahead to the interview, wig and all!!  Jill was totally honest and explained about the cancer and the company was so impressed with her skills that they offered her a job.  Jill commenced working whilst undergoing her Radiotherapy. 

 

Because of Jill’s HER2+ diagnosis there was much delight when she was accepted on a year long programme of the new ‘wonder drug’ Herceptin.  Jill continued to lead as normal a life as possible and even was able to receive the Herceptin at work so that she didn’t inconvenience her employer by taking sick leave. 

 

One of the happiest days of our lives was when we got a text from Jill saying ‘Guess who’s in remission?’  We were overjoyed – what tremendous news!!  After her long and painful struggle it was all over and our prayers had been answered.  Jill was cancer free and could look forward to a long and happy life.

 

Jill took part in a variety of fund raising events, bag packing in Tesco’s, collections in Lisburn Mall, coffee mornings and she also volunteered to be trained as a councilor so that she could help women who found themselves with a similar life threatening diagnosis.

 

At the end of July 2009 Jill started to suffer from back pain.  She went straight away to the doctor and it was put down as ‘wear and tear’.  The back problems increased and Jill started going for physiotherapy and even tried acupuncture.  However, after several physiotherapy sessions, the physiotherapist suggested to Jill that further investigation was needed, as her treatment sessions could no longer help Jill , and gave her a letter for the doctor advising an MRI scan.

 

Over the next few months Jill continued to struggle to and from work on the bus, even though she could hardly walk. That was Jill conscientious and totally professional, not wanting to let anyone down, It was only later on that we learnt how much of an effort this must have been, as Jill was in so much pain and discomfort that on several occasions she was seen to be in tears from struggling to climb the steps into and out of the bus.

 

 Fearing the worst, Jill underwent X-rays and blood tests.  The results came back clear – there was no cancer.

 

It was almost Christmas and how Jill loved this time of year.  One of Jill’s greatest joys was shopping for her nieces and nephews and she would trawl the internet for hours looking for suitable and unusual Christmas presents.   She loved to give presents, all beautifully wrapped with ribbons and bows and to see the happy faces of the kids when they opened the wrapping paper to reveal the lovely gifts inside.

 

Jill was so ill she couldn’t wrap any of her presents but she wouldn’t let the kids down and the presents got wrapped by us and as difficult as it must have been for Jill we had Christmas dinner at Elaine’s house and the exchange of gifts.  Jill was on a heady cocktail of drugs so that she could make it through the day and afterwards told us that she could hardly remember any of the day’s events. 

 

 In hours Jill’s condition deteriorated and she was admitted to hospital.  Unknown to us Jill was at death’s door as the calcium level in her blood had reached dangerously high levels.  Jill almost died but due to the skills of the doctors her life was saved.

 

An MRI scan was ordered and our worst fears were realized – secondary breast cancer in Jill’s liver,spine, bones, sternum and lungs.  Then the earth shattering news that there was no cure for secondary breast cancer – it was only a matter of time and palliative care. 

 

Why had no one told us this!! Why had Jill’s cancer not been discovered sooner!!  When we read the cancer leaflets all the signs were there, all Jill’s symptoms pointed to only one thing and yet we were all blind to it. 

 

Many tears were shed over the next few months as Jill spent her days in the Cancer Care Unit of the City Hospital unable to even get out of bed.  But Jill’s unwavering optimism and determination once again shone through.  She made plans, a big 45th birthday celebration with her family and close friends, shopping trips to the Mall in her wheelchair and she even planned her own funeral. 

 

At this stage chemotherapy would have killed Jill, she was too weak but she underwent a course of radiotherapy to try and get her mobile. 

 

Then more bad news, Jill’s cancer spread into her brain as 25% of cancers do and so more radiotherapy followed.  Many different people, doctors, nurses, auxiliary’s, cleaners, porters and patients were part of Jill’s daily life now and each were in some way touched by Jill’s  amazing fighting spirit, courage and selflessness. 

 

 On one occasion she asked us not talk too loudly as she didn’t want the other patients in the ward to hear about her prognosis, she got to know everyone so well and learned all about their families.  She would have lain for ages needing the nurses but not wanting to use her buzzer as she knew they were busy tending to other patients needs. That was Jill, always putting other people first and never ever complaining but always so grateful for anything you did for her.

 

Jill didn’t want to go into a hospice; she just wanted home and so on 4 February 2010 Jill came home by ambulance.  A care package had been arranged by the social worker and Gary had paid for a ramp to be built so that Jill could get in and out of the house in her wheelchair but that day she was carried in on a stretcher. 

 

The initial care package included a carer to come to the house twice a day but Gary was Jill’s main carer and we all helped in any way we could.  It was a privilege to care for Jill and she made it easy for us, always smiling, never grumbling, and worrying more about us more than herself. Each day we spent with her was precious gift to us. 

 

Jill was never able to get up the stairs again or sleep in her own bed or use her own bathroom.  She became totally dependant on other people.  All the things that many of us do on a daily basis and take for granted had been so cruelly taken away from her but she never complained.

 

Jill’s birthday was approaching and plans were afoot!!  Jill was so looking forward to February 16th but we didn’t know if she was going to be able to realize her wish, she was only able to walk a few steps at a time on her Zimmer and she was exhausted afterwards. 

 

The invitations were issued, the cake was baked and the balloons inflated.  But what do you buy someone for their birthday when they have such a short time left?  What do you write on their card – here’s to the next one! -  when you know there isn’t going to be a next one. 

 

The 16th was on a Tuesday so we booked the restaurant for Saturday 13th after making sure they had wheelchair access – we had to consider all these things we never had to think about before. 

 

It was like a military operation, getting Jill out of bed, washed dressed and into her wheelchair for the first time.  It took three hours before we were ready to leave the house, down the ramp for the first time and into the car she hadn’t been in since before Christmas. 

 

We all knew it wasn’t going to be easy for Jill and so the pain medication was doubled, extra patches put on but it still took a super human effort on Jill’s part that day.  Such strength it must have taken to go out for the first time since being hospitalized and go to your own birthday party knowing it would be your last. 

 

 It was a truly wonderful birthday, a full range of emotions were experienced that day but we had promised ourselves - no tears for Jill’s sake.  We all wanted Jill to have the happiest birthday ever, a ‘memory day’ as she called it.

 

Jill was very weak on the Sunday and Monday.  On the Tuesday, the day of her birthday close family and friends came to spend some time with Jill.  The weekend had taken its toll and on the Wednesday Jill was re-admitted to the City Hospital. 

 

Jill came home again for what was to be the last time on 26th February.  The carers were doubled and it became harder for Jill to get out of bed.  The wheelchair sat unused in the corner. 

 

Now every day was even more precious as we knew that it could be Jill’s last.  Early on the morning of March 13th the day we all hoped and prayed would never come but that we knew was inevitable, came and Jill slipped away from us. 

 

Jill was not afraid of dying she just didn’t want to die as she had so much to live for and so much still to do with her life.  Jill never got angry because of the cancer, didn’t scream out ‘why me?’  instead she accepted what was happening and  asked ‘why not me? ‘Why am I so special that it shouldn’t be me?’ 

 

It is said that when someone has to face daily trials and tribulations, endure pain and suffering it makes you who you are but we discovered it shows you who you are but we all already knew that Jill was one in a million.  A truly amazing, courageous, and inspirational individual, always a smile, never a frown, who loved life and gave so much of herself to everyone with whom she came into contact. 

 

This is Jill’s legacy to us, a life of love and generosity, of warmth and genuine concern for others, laughter and fun and wonderful memories to share.

 

Gary has received hundreds of cards and messages of sympathy and reading the cards and letters and discovering how Jill in some cases played such an important part in not only in people’s careers but in their everyday day lives has brought much comfort at this time of overwhelming sorrow.

 

We know that there are lots of families with similar stories but this is Jill’s story.  If you take anything away after having read about Jill’s journey let it be - live life to the full and be happy and grateful for each day because in the blink of an eye everything that you hold dear can be taken away. 

 

Cancer is very devious and can mask itself in many ways; they say it’s a Devil of a disease.  If you are fighting your own battles, be positive, never give up on life, people survive cancer but always read everything you can and use the knowledge and experience of the Cancer Support Groups and Charities that are there to help you and your family. 

 

All through Jills' illness, even in her darkest hours, her only thoughts were with her husband Gary and the rest of her family, of how we would cope after she was no longer with us. Even as Jill lay dying she said  that the hardest thing for her, was watching the affect that her terminal illness was having on her family and she also told us that she was glad that she was the first sister to go, as she would never have to bear the pain of losing one of us.

 

On another occasion Jill said, that if she could turn back the clock, still knowing what the future had in store for her, she wouldn’t change a thing as she was so proud to have been part of our family and to have had us as her sisters.

 

  She was an inspiration to all of her family and to all of those she came into contact with throughout her wonderful but short life.

 

            Thank-you for reading Jill’s Story