Let's face it, neither of us thought this would happen which is part of the reason I'm doing it.

First of all what "it" entails:

It starts with a 750m swim during which I will be kicked, scratched and dunked (for charity)

I will then seamlessly transition onto the 19.8km bike ride where other cyclists will attempt to ruin my enjoyment of the idyllic Blenheim surroundings

The bike will then be confiscated and your intrepid athelete will be forced to hop, skip and jump the remaining 5.4km.

I'll not dazzle you with purple prose about the epiphany that brought me to sign up. Instead I'd like to share with you some assurances I was given about my impending Triathlon that are yet to materialise

1. You will spend much of the sporting feat sitting down.

As a highly experienced arm chair rugby fan, an habitual bench warmer and sporadic Boris biker this seemed a natural extension of my almost daily routine.

2. Just by signing up you will automatically acquire the rippling physique of a gilded Olympian

Inaccurate

3. It's six months away you'll have time to prepare and gradually build up your base fitnesss

It's two months away- I'll just cram the night before and it'll be fine.

4. It's all about finishing the first Triathlon don't worry about time

I couldn't be more elated about the idea of being overtaken by a 16 y/o fun runner who started three waves behind me.

5. It's cheap- you don't need all sorts of fancy equipment

You're right I'll wear this wetsuit to work and formal occasions it's flattering and amphibious.

6. It's for a good cause and we'll all be supporting you

This is the crux of the matter and is what is driving me on to get out there and train. Thank you in advance for your support and your donations. I am going out to do my very best on the day- putting the try in triathlon (I'm not too sure what to do with the -athlon bit?)

I can promise that within the short sprint from land to water I will already have gone a choleric shade of puce which will stay with me for the entirety of the course. This is for your entertainment.

JT

 

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