Right the scary bit...

For anyone who knows me, will know how much I hate running...Throw at me a bike ride, 20+mile hike or even a plane to jump out of and I would be happy to do it, but running is such a struggle for me. This is going to be a challenge for both me and my partner Joe. After Joes football injury and breaking his Leg  back in April 2017 I thought he was joking suggesting a run for charity in May 2018 but I wanted to really do something challenging for charity and so the Bristol 10k was decided. I am not a runner. I never have been and even running 5k was a struggle for me, so bring on the training!

As someone who has BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) in conjunction with Clinical Depression and Anxiety I know personally the struggles of being mentally Ill and I suppose I have a vested interest in spreading awareness of mental health conditions but, the truth is, statistically speaking, either you, or a great number of your friends or family will be affected by it at some point, and according to the World Health Organization, 'If we don't act urgently, by 2030 depression will be the leading illness globally' 

When I got my official diagnosis early last year after 7 years of not having the correct medication, care or diagnosis I was devastated and ashamed to hear officially that I had a 'mental health disorder and I wrongly presumed people would think I am weak or crazy and eventually fade away out of my life. 

About BPD: Borderline personality disorder is a disorder of mood and how a person interacts with others. Its the most commonly recognised personality disorder. In general, some one with a personality disorder will differ significantly from an average person in terms of how he or she thinks, perceives, feels or relates to others. The symptoms of BPD consist mainly of: *Emotional instability (very intense emotions)* Disturbed patterns of thinking or perception * Impulsive and self harming behaviour * Intense but unstable relationships with others *Intense fear and worry about rejection * No sense of who you are * feelings of numbness or 'checked out' just to name a few...

The stigma and discrimination around this is still heartbreakingly huge and I believe this is mainly down to a lack of education on mental health and I want to have a role in tackling this. Many people associate mental health conditions as dangerous, unpredictable, crazy and the worse... 'psycho'...and this was something what I was so worried people would think of me if they knew I had a mental health condition.

 After hitting rock bottom and being in the Priory Hospital and South mead Hospital last summer I have decided to become open about having a mental health condition in the hopes to encourage others suffering in silence to come forward and talk about their issues and to help raise money for my chosen charity, MIND. After all if this was physical sufferers would be open about their illness without fearing rejection or prejudice. After meeting so many inspirational sufferers whilst on my journey to recovery who have also been open about their issues I feel extremely passionate about tackling the stigma and raising money for this amazing charity and in return this has also made me decide to become open about my condition with friends, family, colleagues and even strangers.  Rejection is terrifying but my number one motto is 'strength is what we gain from the madness we survive' 

I would like to have this opportunity to thank my partner Joe, when he first met me and I told him I was not very well he did not fully understand how life altering having a mental health condition can be and he believed it was just the case of 'snapping out of it'. The longer me and Joe were together the more he would see me flip between mood states regularly and slowly began to realise this was much bigger than 'snapping out of it'. He saw me eventually for me as I really am (taking the mask off as I call it) and when I rapidly went down hill early last year he stood up to the plate with arranging my care, supporting me when I was at home and most of all full accepting me for who I am ill or not and believe me when I say it has not been easy for him. But still he's by my side, encouraging me every step of the way and was his idea to do the Bristol 10K so thank you Joe, you are 1 in a million

Lastly, lets raise awareness on mental health and raise money for the amazing Charity, MIND

Love Kate