*Long post alert but I really wanted to share*


Many will know that the first few months of lockdown were really stressful for me, and to top it off I then had sudden onset of Bell's Palsy. It came out of nowhere, one day I was fine the next I woke up with my face feeling strange. I looked in the mirror and had a huge shock...it looked like I'd had a massive stroke and the entire right side of my face was affected. I couldn't blink or close my eye at all, even to sleep (which felt like torture), my mouth was drooped which affected my speech and I couldn't eat or drink properly. The side effects from the massive dose of steroids I had to take were horrible and the pain at several points was indescribable. Apart from the physical effects though I was blindsided by the emotional distress it caused. It was difficult to look in the mirror without feeling upset and impossible to apply eye make up (something I always enjoyed wearing to give me a confidence boost). Worst of all though was losing my smile... not being able to smile at my kids, or even give a passing smile to the stranger in the street was truly awful. At a time where distance and non contact with family and friends was the safest way to interact, having that biggest way of showing warmth to others taken away was all the more difficult to deal with. I didn't want to complain about my upset about my appearance for fear of sounding vain and I often felt guilty for putting so much importance on my looks. That just made me feel even more isolated in my misery. What was worse was that no one could tell me how long it would take to get better, or even if it definitely would. The doctor's only answer was that it "should hopefully" get better, and that it could take anywhere from a month to a year, but that it was basically like how longs a piece of string. Turning to google as usual did nothing to calm my fears and there wasn't really a lot of information, just the same thing the doctor had said repeated in different ways. What I did find, though, was Facial Palsy UK, a charity that has online and in-person (covid aside) support for people suffering from facial paralysis, whether it be caused by Bell's Palsy, stroke, brain injury or other complications. It was a great source of support and helped me a great deal. However it also made me realise how lucky I really was...I've made a good recovery (there are some residual neuropathic problems but I'm confident in time they'll get better too), and although its been nearly 5 months since onset, in the grand scheme of things that is a relatively quick recovery rate. But there are people who face much longer journeys, or who, unlike me, don't have the hope of a full or even partial recovery due to permanent damage. I can't imagine how traumatic it must be for your identity to change so drastically but not have any hope of getting back to your normal self. It's made me realise how important the ongoing support for people from charities like Facial Palsy UK really is. So it's why I've decided I'd like to give back in some way and help raise a donation to them to help them carry on this work.


I did originally think of planning a big hike up Pen Y Fan or similar but lockdown and restrictions means I've had to keep waiting to do that. I considered doing sober October but to be honest I'm not a big drinker to begin with so it wouldn't feel like a big challenge personally. What I am though, is a complete chocoholic...my sweet tooth is ridiculous. So, for the month of November I'll be giving up all things sweet...that's no chocolate, cake, biscuits, sweets, icecream, popcorn...whatever is classed as a sweet treat is off bounds. Anyone who knows me will know that will be a true challenge for me! I don't expect anyone in my house will join me in solidarity so temptation will be around every corner...or rather in every cupboard, but that'll just make achieving my goal all the sweeter! (See what I did there! 🤣)


Any donations at all will be truly appreciated and I'll be making my own donation at the end too.


Thank you for reading! Xxx


Ps. I just want to add that friends and family were so kind and supportive through it all and I can't thank them enough. I'm lucky to have you all and to know you are truly there when the going gets tough. 💕