Hearing the words "You have Cancer" is a life changer. When first told, I just felt numb with fear, the not knowing scared the living daylights out of me. I have never experienced the feeling of my mind racing in every direction, thoughts of how this will affect my wife & children, how will we pay the mortgage if I can't work, what about all the other household bills, what about my job, how will this affect my family, why has this happened to me.......honestly, these are just a couple of examples of the thoughts that were going through my mind and this was even before I got round to how I was going to fight this horrible life threatening illness.
All these thoughts and many more had gone through my head so quickly, I hadn't heard a word that the Consultant had said to me since "You've got Cancer".
Now I won't lie, for the 1st time in my 47 years of life, I was scared, scared of the unknown, scared of the journey ahead but one thing that I was definitely sure of, that no matter how tough the journey ahead was going to be, there was only going to be one winner...............No way am I going to let this horrible illness beat me!
The evening of my diagnosis I sat my kids down and informed them of my Cancer and believe that honesty is the best policy.
Now, my kids are 26, 25 & 15 years old, so not exactly kids but I was still telling them that their Dad had Cancer, which was hard enough in itself but not as tough as when my 15 year old son asked if I was going to die.
As I said, I always believe honesty to be the best policy, I have never lied to my kids and had no intention of starting now. Obviously I had no idea of the honest answer but I told him what I honestly believed and still believe today....."No I am not going to die, but you are going to see your Dad being very unwell so don't be scared".
There's a contradiction in itself, I was asking my kids not to be scared when I was actually scared stiff but I didn't and have never shown them that.
I knew from hearing my Consultant saying those ill fated words to me that I had a tough fight ahead of me and felt that I was ready for whatever this Cancer threw at me but what I didn't know, was just how much this illness attacks you mentally. All of a sudden, after a lifetime of never being ill and after a long career as a Semi-professional footballer, never experiencing serious injury, now here I was, my self - immortality in ruins.......now I could be harmed.
Not only was my belief of immortality ruined, as time went by, my self esteem & my self confidence had been shot to bits, I now felt vulnerable and at times very lonely.
I found it hard to talk to those nearest to me as I felt that was being weak and didn't want to show that I was feeling how I was and for some reason, felt that I was letting them down.
Now enter Macmillan, who as soon as I was diagnosed with Throat Cancer, they have been by my side every step of the way.
My main contact with Macmillan has been Debbie, who is the Macmillan Head Nurse of Head & Neck Cancer at Medway Hospital.
I can't even begin to put into words how much her care, support and understanding has meant to me and my wife Paula. 
From the very beginning she has been very honest, explaining medical terms in layman terms and been totally understanding of my feelings and worries.
Macmillan know the worries you have, one of the first items they addressed were my finances, although there wasn't anything to sort for me as my fantastic employer Marshalls Mono Ltd have been absolutely fantastic throughout my fight and supported me financially but I knew that if ever that situation changed then Macmillan were always there for me.
When I was going through my treatment of Radiotherapy & Chemotherapy, this is when the journey really became tough for me and experienced some dark days and low points, so low in fact, that I didn't think that I could take anymore, I felt so unwell but apart from my fantastic wife and family, there were always people there for me..........Macmillan. 
Before I was diagnosed with Throat Cancer, I had obviously heard of Macmillan but had no idea of the true work they do and believe me, they are a godsend and will remain a big part of my life forever now.

Cancer is an absolute horrible illness and affects so many people, not only the patients but their families too. Yes, the physical side is tough but even when feeling better and recovering after treatment, the mental side never let's go, whether this will change once I get the 'All Clear', only time will tell but one thing I do know is that Macmillan are with me every step of the way and I know that they are like this with every Cancer patient. 

When I heard that my employer Marshalls Ltd were working in partnership with Macmillan, it literally brought a lump to my throat (excuse the pun) and feel proud to work for an employer that wants to work alongside such a fantastic charity.

I can't find the words to explain how I really feel about Macmillan and the work they do but hopefully by doing the Lake District Mighty Hike 2020 with 'My Rock' (Paula) by my side, as she has been throughout my journey, hopefully we can raise some money for this fantastic charity and it's our way of saying......"Thank You Macmillan"