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On the 23rd May we will be cycling 50 miles in support of Autism West Midlands.  We are doing this challenge to support some friends who are going through a personal journey.  Please take time to read their story and journey; they have received so much support from the Charity that we wanted to recognise this and raise as much money as we can. Please help us achieve this goal!

Life With Autism

Our son Harry was not planned but a fantastic surprise and we were so excited to find out we were having a boy as we already had a 5 year old daughter; he was born in 2010 and came five and a half weeks early following a normal pregnancy.  He was the perfect baby but very hungry and progressed normally, it was not until he was about 18 months old that mum realised something wasn't right.  He wasn't talking yet and playing as he should be and he also failed to make eye contact but the response from the professionals was “he is a boy and they are lazy and also as he is a second child he should catch up”.  By his two and a half year check not much had improved and he was having major tantrums, we could not understand everything, he was also a very picky eater and loved routines; if we went out of the routine major meltdowns occurred.  Sometimes these could last for 45 minutes with no chance of calming him down; we just had to ride them.  I spoke to his health visitor and voiced my concerns and as a result he was sent for tests and speech and language.  I scoured the local play-groups speaking to staff and finally found one that I felt could accommodate him and I was right they supported me and totally understood Harry.  After loads of tests and assessments, along with blood tests, in April this year we received a diagnosis to say that Harry is on the autism spectrum.  This was a mixture of emotions and relief that as his mother I wasn't going mad and I had been listened to but also sadness.  Sad because I know deep down he will never have the life his big sister has, sad for the child he could have been but I have been asked several times if I could give him a tablet or wave a magic wand would I take his autism away from him and the answer is No.  If I did that he would not be my son or my Harry, and nothing can take away the fact he is my son and my world and we will cope with whatever life throws at us.

Harry is just coming up to his 5^th Birthday he started mainstream school in September this year, that was hard as I had to fight for the school place I wanted as I needed a school that could cope with his needs and the one we wanted was not in our catchment but we were lucky and eventually got a place.  He is thriving at school, way behind his peers in terms of learning but his teacher is fantastic and totally gets him which is a huge relief and he loves the routine it offers, so typical of someone on the autism spectrum.  Harry has no emotion and doesn't understand sadness, love etc so a hug or a kiss is just an action from him, no feeling and that hurts but then he is selective who he hugs and kisses.

Life is far from easy, he is an extremely fussy eater and he has absolutely no road sense so going for a walk we are constantly on our guard.  He has sensory issues so hair cutting, finger and toe nail cutting are extremely difficult as experts say they feel pain with this.  He hates loud noises and the dark so the cinema is a no go.  In fact we tried it once and never again.  We also took him to Disney on ice and spent an hour and a half with him screaming and crying as it was too loud for him, this was something I thought he'd like but boy was I wrong.  If his routine is out of place like school holidays he can be a nightmare, he won't try any new foods and refuses to eat anything coloured green.  But I'm lucky things could be so much worse, I have incidents whereby he has had a tantrum in public and people have said he needs a good smack that will knock it out of him, or look at me as though I am a bad parent and I can't control my child; this hurts and really upsets me but I've learned to cope with it and tell myself it's not me it's their ignorance as autism is classed as ‘a hidden disability’. So yes the upshot is my child is ‘disabled’.  Do I love him any less and the answer is a resounding No.

Harry is my world as well as my husband and my daughter and you can moan at me, mock me, feel sorry for me (please don't) my life is enriched cos I have been given the responsibility for bringing up a child with special needs and I have met some amazing people and made new friends who totally understand what it's like to bring a child up with autism! Yes my life is hard at times but when Harry smiles at me it’s worth it.

Autism West Midlands have made me not only understand Autism but made me realise I’m not alone I bet everyone knows of someone with Asd.

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