In what is likely to be the end of my career, I am about to be arrested for heinous crimes, taken to Cambridge County Court and sentenced. Just some of my crimes are below. But I need your help. If there is any chance of me being released, I need you to donate. Rest assured it is going to an amazing charity which helps children with life-threatening conditions and their families. Of course, there will be those who will want to pay more to keep me inside. Please say so and we will work out a suitable penalty! And new crimes are accepted - for a suitable donation. So get those creative juices flowing and get giving....