​I am doing the Great North Run on Sunday - and the London Marathon in October (I won the Marathon place in a competition run by Virgin Money) - but this time, because I can’t run anymore, I am speed marching in boots and combats carrying 90lb of kit on my back.  This is due to a lack of cartilage in my knees, arthritis and compressed discs in my spine following a parachuting accident on a night drop (landing in an oak tree in the pitch dark/3 months in hospital). 

My goal is to raise £2,000 for Support Our Paras, a charity set up to support past and serving Paras who are struggling physically or mentally as I have done since leaving 2 Para.

The number of former colleagues committing suicide is still shockingly high - we lost three in 2017 alone.  One of those was a former colleague who I served closely with as an instructor in Central America and other places around the world.  Hank was a legend in the Battalion and a superb medic, when I heard he had taken his own life, it brought back memories of us sitting in a bar in Belize City when Hank suddenly broke down and sobbed in front of me. I had no idea what to do as we were trained to be utterly without emotion (other than aggression) and discussing mental health was a thing that only received ridicule.

I have no doubt in my mind that Hank was suffering from PTSD after patching up colleagues with horrific injuries and losing many in the blood shed to recapture The Falkland Islands back in 1982. 

I look back and wonder what could have been, if the understanding and growing acceptance of mental trauma was then as it is now.  I hope I would have acted very differently to a colleague who was clearly breaking down, I know I wouldn’t have simply asked him if he was ok, as clearly he wasn’t, I just didn’t know what to say or do.  Paras are trained to ignore pain, discomfort, mental and physical exhaustion and keep going no matter what the obstacles, how could they be expected to acknowledge they have any weakness, let alone stick their hand up and ask for help?  That is why early intervention is so important as so often the signs are well hidden by men who wear the maroon beret and are utterly fearless.

The things that elite combat troops are expected to do without a second thought, or witness without showing emotion, often weigh heavily on the mind in what is a culture of violence.  Also, leaving what is in this case, ‘The Airborne Brotherhood’ is in itself a type of bereavement as often Paras struggle to come to terms with not being part of an elite tightknit group who look after each other no matter what the circumstances they find themselves in.  They have left a life of being regarded as the very best, a life of constant adrenaline, exchanged for a life where the desire for adrenalin all too often only seeks to compound existing problems and bring them into conflict with civilian life and a new set of unfamiliar rules.

I have experienced all that I describe and more, I have sought help and now receive it weekly as a result of organisations like "Support Our Paras" lobbying the government and their efforts to get veterans the help they need quickly.  The MOD is playing catch up, as they start to acknowledge that these preventable deaths are cyclical and historically take approx. 20 years from the events happening to the soldier being at risk.  Now we are seeing the veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan following a similar road and help is needed to stem the flow of post combat deaths.

The sad thing is that there have been more deaths after these various wars from suicide than ever lost their lives in the conflicts, this has to stop.  

Please help me reach my target so that more families can receive the help they need, I have set myself a significant challenge and know it is going to be painful and take a lot of mental strength as well as the obvious physical effort to reach the finish line at the ripe old age of 56.  Please log in via the above link and give whatever you can, if possible send this email/link to ten friends so that they might feel compelled to help however small.  

Thank you, 

Paul

SUPPORT OUR PARAS does what it says on the tin. We support our Paras in The Parachute Regiment and Airborne Forces through the welfare of veterans, serving soldiers and their families and widows, and through the maintenance of its regimental efficiency, ethos, spirit and heritage.