On Saturday 19th March 2022 I am going to smash a 16.5 mile trail run (through the woods, along muddy paths, and up and down slippery hills) around the gorgeous Ashridge Estate.

Why?

Because in June 2021 - pride month - my gorgeous, happy and hilarious husband, Dean, was brutally attacked and left for dead in an alleyway only minutes from our home.

His 'crime'? Being himself - a bright and bubbly man, who is interested in everyone, loves making friends, and is annoyingly generous at buying people drinks in bars. 

Oh, and he's married to me - another man. 

Dean was pushed over by a group of young men, called a faggot, and left in a heap on the alley floor. It's only because the chaps at the local kebab shop (Nefis, Worcester Park - brilliant chicken pitta and chips if you're ever in the neighbourhood) were putting out their bins at 1am, that he was found in time.

Dean's doing well now. But getting to this point took five nights in hospital and countless consultant and outpatient appointments to recover from a fractured eye socket, fractured forehead, mashed up jaw, deeply cut lip, two black eyes, a busted shoulder, loads of cuts and bruises, memory loss, poor eyesight, memory loss, and so many other aliments it's hard to list them all.

Not to mention the mental and emotional trauma. I couldn't possibly put any of that into words. And that's still ongoing.

Thankfully his fire hasn't been put out. He's back to being the firefly he's always been: full of energy, loud enough to continue slowly eroding my hearing, and amazingly still interested in new people, ready and willing to see the good in everyone he meets. He was already the strongest person I had ever met, but now he's shown me an even more unfathomable ability to 'get back up off the mat' and live his life the way he wants.

We're pretty lucky to have got through this, to have each other's strength to lean on when we've needed it, and to be making strides to make it part of our history, not our present (although take it from me, being the person having to watch this all play out, from the back of the ambulance to today, is an experience I will never forget).

But really, nobody should have to go through anything like this in the first place. And not just violence - a look, a few words, being made to feel like you're not welcome or that you're unsafe - and all this for being yourself. Fuck that. Every single person has the right to be themselves. 

I can't change the world, and some days it's been hard enough to think I can change our small part of it. But I can run (and I did a LOT of running to help clear my head and collect my thoughts during the last few months). So I'm running to help stop so many people feeling like they have to 'run' - from the beautiful truth of who they are, and from the dickheads out there who have an issue with that.

The funds raised will go to a charity called Stop Hate – who incidentally my amazing work family at Eulogy are also supporting this year. You can find out what the charity is all about below.

Thanks for getting this far, and for anything you can spare to sponsor me. And if you fancy a day out, a country walk, and I am hoping a pub lunch afterwards, come and wave at me on the day.

Lots of love, Phil / Philip / Borgeous x

About Stop Hate

Stop Hate UK is one of the leading national organisations working to challenge all forms of Hate Crime and discrimination, based on any aspect of an individual’s identity. They provide independent, confidential and accessible reporting and support for victims, witnesses and third parties. Hate Crime is one of the most underreported crimes in the UK and, whilst we know that reported incidents are on the rise, we also know that the number of actual incidents is way in excess of those reported.