Mum passed away on August 16th.  She was a teacher and worked especially with children who had special needs.  She also loved her visits to Disney and would be delighted to support Caudwell Children and help families share in the excitement and fun of the Disney parks.

This is the tribute given by Rev Dan Haylett at her Thanksgiving service on August 24th:

For Jesus at least, it seems that seeing is believing.  “This is indeed the will of my Father, that all who see the Son and believe in him may have eternal life; and I will raise them up on the last day” says Jesus.  We are here to celebrate today Betty’s life: a life spent seeing the Son and believing.  Betty saw and believed, and we give thanks for Jesus’ promise: that Betty is now at peace, living eternally with the God she saw, loved and trusted in all her days.  What a life: what a faith, what a hope we celebrate which is open to each and everyone of us, through God’s mercy. Betty saw the Son and believed.  What will our response be to Jesus, the Jesus who Betty loved, preached and served?

Betty’s life began in Swansea on 3^rd November 1917.  There was actually some confusion over the exact location of the village of Betty’s birth: but in Betty’s telling, she considered it a matter of some significance and no little pride that she shared a birthplace with the singer Mary Hopkins.   Betty was born in the middle of a family of four brothers, Bill, Derek, Clarence and Leslie.  Their father was a miner and Betty’s early life must have been traumatic, as her mother was not well enough to be able to manage keeping the house or to look after the young family.  The children were sent away, two brothers went to a Barnardo’s home and two to other homes, whilst Betty aged just 3 was taken to Christow in Devon to live under the care of her aunt and uncle: Auntie Laura came to be an enormously important figure in Betty’s life . 

There is no doubt that life was hard for Betty as she grew up.  There was never any money in the house, never any settled income to rely on, for Betty’s uncle would be sent home without pay if there was no work to be done that day.   There was enough money scrimped and saved to send Betty to Newton Abbot Grammar school, but only until she reached the age of 14 when she entered domestic service.  It is fair to say this was not Betty’s calling in life: she hated her time in service.  We might wonder it this was an early indication of the sort of person Betty would grow into being: as one of her friends said to me “Betty didn’t go to anything, she ran things”.  I suspect Betty’s temperament was more suited to her being in control than being in domestic service would have allowed her.  

Betty continued to visit her parents throughout her childhood, until when Betty was aged 15, her mother died.  During her childhood in Devon,  Betty had lost contact with 2 of her brothers, and it was a source of great joy when she managed to get back in touch with them in the mid 1990’s, some 60 years later.

From an early age, the seeds of Betty’s faith were planted.  She was brought up as a Baptist, attending Christow Baptist Church three times on a Sunday, and it is clear that the home was ran under fairly strict rules:  Betty always remembered being told off for sewing on a Sunday “Sewing on a Sabbath pricks the Saviours heart” she had obviously been told on more than one occasion.  We can give thanks today that Betty was in no way put off her fledgling faith, instead her life revolved increasingly around chapel, as she came to see the son and believe.

By the time Betty had reached the age of 21, she began 2 years at Teacher training college in Salisbury.  She had spent some time helping as a helper to a teacher and had discovered a sense of God’s call to her, that she could teach.  In many ways those two years were the happiest times of her life - she met and made great friends that Betty was still in touch with up until the last few months.  She started work at Doddescombleigh School, cycling every day.

Life changed for Betty however, when Maurice Montacute, a Baptist Local preacher came to visit Christow Baptist Chapel.  He came fairly often from Exeter but one Sunday went to Auntie Laura’s house for tea and over the weeks and months, love blossomed.  Betty was 35 when she married Maurice at Christow and moved with him to Exeter.  Here she worked at the Montgomery School and later at Ladysmith School until she retired from teaching in the early 1970s.  Betty spent her career teaching what would have been called remedial students, children with special educational needs.  She was clearly an inspirational and devoted teacher - and she loved sharing stories of things that had happened that had made her laugh.  She loved especially the writing of Gervais Phinn that chimed in with her experience of school:

Betty and Maurice’s daughter Rachel was born in 1957, and so began a mother and daughter relationship that meant so much to both Betty and Rachel.  I know it has not always been straightforward - few relationships are - but the love and dedicated care  Rachel and the family have shown Betty is a demonstration, an enactment of the way God cares for us.  I am convinced too, that you have cared for Betty because she in her own way down the years has shown that sort of care to you too.

Betty’s was in many ways a sad retirement.  Very soon after stopping work at school, Betty’s Auntie Laura had a heart attack and came to live with the family in Exeter.  Betty’s own father in his old age would also come to the house to spend every winter being loved after and eventually Maurice’s mother came to live with them too.  I can only imagine Betty revelling in the organisation that must have entailed!  But Betty saw the son and believed: and it meant something tangible, real and practical: she put her own life on hold for others.

Meanwhile, Church life continued.  Maurice and Betty belonged to Pinhoe Baptist Church in Exeter for many years, they ran Sunday school, they were both Local preachers and active in the Baptist district.  Betty responded to God’s call to preach in 1949 and retired only 6 years ago. She was this circuit’s second longest serving preacher and she was much loved.  She loved visiting the smaller, country chapels and delighted in devising children’s addresses.  She was also a Local Preacher Tutor in this circuit, passing on her considerable expertise and experience to others.  At Betty’s local preacher retirement party, Brian Smith who was LP secretary at the time described Betty as “a tough old bird”.  Brian may have been brave with his words in Betty’s hearing, but we may well agree they are apt as we consider Betty’s 92 years of living.  Preaching meant a lot to Betty - her family helped her in her last appointments by printing out sermons and running errands for her.  Betty simply responded to the call that God placed on her life - and so wanted others to do the same.  She saw the Son, and believed.

Betty and Maurice together served their church faithfully.  The became trustees of a local care home on behalf of the Exeter Council of churches, and later moved  in 1979 to Wonford Baptist Church to become joint lay pastors - though they refused to take the official title). In 1986, life changed dramatically for Betty, as Maurice death was followed by the death of another close friend.  Betty made the decision to move closer to Rachel and Peter, who themselves had just moved here to healing.  Betty made her move in October 1986. 

Obviously, the move for Betty was hard.  She struggled to adapt to life here in Lincolnshire she missed Exeter; but she coped in the way we might have expected her too - with steely determination to accept the changes in her life and to move forward.  She loved being closer to the family and seeing her grandchildren born.  David, James and Beth all have so many memories of special times spent with their grandma: strangely, and you can draw your own conclusions about this, all centring around food:  James recalls his grandma serving a bowl full of tinned spaghetti served with a slice of bread and an inch layer of butter, finished off with a serving of sugar cubes;  David recalls being fed up on Kit Kats and Beth remembers her orange squash being made of half a cup of concentrate.  Rachel and Peter are still debating exactly which child it was that once ran away from Betty when they were supposed to be reading to her! 

She threw herself into the life of this village, she became a loyal and much loved member of this Church; and as we have heard she didn’t just join, she ran things; so she prompted, persuaded and convinced people to help her set up a Sunday club for children.  Betty ran the Good companions, she joined the Haven choir, she belonged to the WI and served on the committee.  Once she tried in her determined way to cajole her great friend Cym to undertake some role on the W.I committee.  For months, betty chipped away at Cym, asking her to join, to do the job and demanding a response.  Finally, when Betty said “why won’t you do it?”  Cym cracked and replied “because I don’t want to Betty”.  Betty simply gave her a smile - that smile that we’ve all seen down the years, and the matter was never spoken of again.  Betty made so many friends, but Cym, Pat and Kath in particular became so close and they supported and loved Betty in some amazing and selfless ways. 

Betty came to rely more and more on the support and care of others.  She was always fiercely independent, determined, and she fought so hard to recover from a stroke in the mid 1990s.  In 2004, Betty had to make the move to Hadleigh House, which she was not pleased about.  She spent probably about 2 and ½ years trying her hardest to get back to her bungalow in healing, to the place that had become her home.  But over the last 3 years, Betty had become more accepting, more able to receive the devoted and wonderful care of the staff at Hadleigh and of her friend Ann too.  I know the staff and residents will miss Betty: her being there made a difference. I know Pat and Cym will find it strange not visiting Betty there.  I know Betty’s family will miss her, but I know too how relieved you are - we all are- that Betty’s suffering is at an end.  Her faith remained strong while her body failed her, and although it didn’t come easily or naturally to her: through all the care she received, Betty saw the Son and believed. 

Betty has packed so much into her 92 years of living.  There have been trips to California, Australia, to Canada, to Florida with the family where she went on roller coasters despite Peter’s professional advice!  She completed a degree from the Open University aged 70, she loved watching football and tennis on television, she was a keen supporter of Manchester United.  She loved everything to do with nature, she adored her cats and dogs.  She did crosswords, she read an awful lot, she revelled in company and loved being taken out looking her best.  She loved her friends, her family, above all: she saw the Son and believed.

I remember first meeting Betty, some three years ago now.  It was here, at the fish and chip club which Betty was attending up until a few months ago.  All the helpers had gathered and were sitting down and someone said “here comes Betty” and I watched on, not knowing who Betty was, as she was brought inside in her wheelchair.  What I noticed first was that everyone automatically stood up, and instinctively, automatically formed a sort of reception party, a welcome line as Betty was brought passed them: as if they were expecting a royal visit.  The other thing I noticed was Betty smiling, loving the attention, enjoying her friends, happy simply to be there, and delighting in demolishing a plate of fish, chips and mushy peas.  I came to know Betty as someone full of faith, one who suffered much without losing hold of the hope that she was travelling on to greater glory.  I came to rejoice in Betty who saw the Son and believed, and who is now safe with her loving Father.

Today we give thanks for the life of Betty May Montacute, for her influence on our lives, for her determination in living God’s way and for the love that she showed to us.  All of that was Betty’s response to God’s love; what will ours be because of her life?  Jesus said, “this is indeed the will of my father, that all who see the Son and believe in him may have eternal life; and I will raise them up on the last day”.  Amen

Thanks be to God

Caudwell Children’s Destination Dreams Programme is raising money to send 25 children fighting life threatening illnesses on a holiday of a lifetime.

 

I am raising funds to help a family create lasting memories in DisneyWorld away from painful treatments and relentless hospital appointments.  The family receive the medical and emotional support they need to be able to travel.  Please - help me raise funds to change these families' lives.  Please also see

www.justgiving.com/RACHEL-OPIE

 

Did you know

·         25,00 children in the UK are fighting a life threatening condition

·         104 children die every week from a childhood illness

·         Every 24 hours, 10 children are diagnosed with cancer or childhood leukaemia

·         Caudwell Children is 100% reliant upon fundraising donations