Six months ago my husband, my son's daddy, fell asleep in my arms, and our world ended in that moment.

Ste was the most amazing, inspirational man, and the most wonderful husband, father, son, brother, uncle and friend we could ever have wished for. Ste was 41 when he lost his lifelong battle with Cystic Fibrosis. I never believed in love at first sight until I met Ste; we have been inseparable for the last 10 years and I can't even begin to imagine any sort of future without my best friend there next to me. At some point our son will ask me where his daddy is, and I don't know how any parent goes about telling a child that daddy is never coming home. Xavi was just 9 months at the time and was a real daddy's boy. I could never have imagined a pain so numbing as this, and if it wasn't for a 15 month old wanting breakfast and toys (in that order) each morning, that pain would resign me to a zombie-state most days, but we want to do everything we can as family and friends to support the fantastic CF Unit (Pearce Ward) at Wythenshawe Hospital, including running the Manchester 10k in May. Ste's 72 year old dad will be leading the pack!

The team at Wythenshawe, led by Professor Webb run the Manchester Adult Cystic Fibrosis Centre, one of the biggest units of it's kind in the country, and they take referrals from all over the NorthWest. They have been a huge part of my family's life since Ste was 16, and we've visited the centre every month for 25 years for outpatient treatment and many in-patient hospital stays, often being stuck in hospital for months at a time. Anyone familiar with CF and the horrendously debilitating nature of the condition sees their loved one fight everyday just to breathe. I can't imagine anything worse than fighting to catch my next breath; it's something we take for granted.

Those with CF cope with an exhausting daily treatment regime including hundreds of tablets, injections, inhalers, nebulisers, oxygen, physiotherapy........all to keep them as healthy as possible in order to hopefully receive a desperately needed lung, and often heart transplant. My husband put up with all this whilst working, looking after his family and always smiling :). When I would get upset for him at not having the lung capacity to bend to put his socks on, he'd tell me he was born this way and knew no different, and to be grateful for our life together - which I always will be.  

Cystic fibrosis is one of the most common life-threatening inherited diseases and is caused by a single defective gene; one in 25 of us carry that gene. As a result, the internal organs, especially the lungs and digestive system, become clogged with thick sticky mucus resulting in chronic infections and inflammation in the lungs and difficulty digesting food. Before even taking a bite of a chocolate bar, Ste would have to take several enzyme tablets just to digest any food. The simple things in life, breathing and eating, are a chore for someone with CF.

The MACFC provides the most fantastic support and care for CF patients, and their families, and we're eternally grateful to them for keeping my husband and others as well as possible, for as long as possible. I'm forever indebted  to the doctors, nurses and support staff for giving me the best years of my life, and giving Xavi the 9 precious months he had with his dad. Living in a hospital room with a baby for months isn't easy (or quiet for those in adjoining rooms to The Ryans!) but the team did everything possible to accommodate us, and turn Ste's room into a mini-creche! They provide internationally renowned medical care and they go above and beyond that in the holistic support they provide for patients to make their lives less difficult, and in essence provide hospice or end of life care for patients and their families. 

MACFC has its own charitable fund that is used to pay for equipment and services above and beyond that normally provided for by the NHS. and we want to help them raise much needed money for that fund.

For those who know and love Ste, and for those weren't fortunate to have met him, these "things to do" sum up my Mr Ryan: * Watch a Carry On film * Read The Liar by Stephen Fry * Listen to Morrissey/The Smiths * Listen to John Cooper-Clarke * Build Star Wars Lego * Support Manchester United * Wear Fred Perry * Eat sweets * Listen to vinyl * Drink Jamesons * Never settle for less than Love

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