Over the past 5 years I've lost 3 young men from my world to the grips of depression and consequently, male suicide. 

My beautiful friend from my teenage years, Guy Sewell in November 2013.

Our great school friend, John Childs in January 2018.

My amazingly talented and lovely cousin, Neil Zebedee in September 2018.

Sometimes, quite often actually I catch myself and think how is Guy not here still?  How can this actually be a reality? How am I now older than him? To have gone through the loss of one friend through suicide is horrific. To lose another is soul numbing. To then less than a year later lose a member of your extended family is beyond all reason. Heartbroken doesn't even begin to cover it. 

All 3 of these beautiful souls were and still are loved beyond measure. When times were good for them they surfed, ran marathons, climbed mountains, captivated audiences with their music and filled their friends and family with laughter. 

Three incredible young men for whom life became too painful. It's the most gut wrenching feeling to try to get my head around. What more could I have done? What signs did I miss? What if. What if. What if.

What I do know is that now, as in the past, I am raising funds for a charity dedicated to getting the mental health awareness out there and by donating to my Red January challenge you will be helping to fund vital resources.

This time it's different though. There is no team of mates running. It's just me. No banter, just my own thoughts. It feels very different. But I will do this. For my Guy, John and Neil. 

Male Suicide awareness is now firmly in my sights and an issue buried deep in my heart.

As the wife of a Paramedic, one of many of our everyday heroes I see the effect these types of jobs have. Heroes who see, treat and deal with situations beyond our comprehension. Their work is stressful,  traumatic, heart wrenching, at times dangerous, at other times joyous. The whole scale of emotions.

This January as my 'significant' birthday arrives I will, in true Father Ted style,  'kick it up the arse!' I will take on a challenge each day.

If you are looking for a cause to donate to you can't go wrong supporting mental health awareness.

If you would like to donate and sponsor me, well that would be flippin' awesome! 

Thanks oodles,

Jen 

Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.

Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving - they'll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they'll send your money directly to the charity. So it's the most efficient way to donate - saving time and cutting costs for the charity.