Rhianna Parkinson
Sport in Mind
Fundraising for Sport in Mind
Story
I'm not one for making public announcements or anything like that but just felt now was the right time and opportunity to do something special.
Everyone has ups and downs, but I guess sometimes, people have a slightly unequal balance. Unfortunately I've spent my life hiding some things deep inside which, at times, have mentally tortured me and occasionally put additional strain on the NHS (sorry). One day in November 2012 (this isn't a life story by the way) I found myself coming out of a longish term relationship and realising I'd not made an effort to make friends, and I'd become so chunky, lazy and hooked on kebabs, that I'd become pretty rubbish at my main hobby, football. It was a really low point for me. Fortunately on this day I told myself I can either carry on and be miserable or do something about it.
I decided to join a gym. I barely jogged 0.25km on the treadmill and I was exhausted. I felt pathetic. It did go through my mind that this was a complete waste of time but I mentally forced myself to keep going - I had nothing better to do. After a few weeks I made it to 1km, then 2km and suddenly found myself with that "bug" that everyone talks about. By February / March 2013 I started entering family 5km's and the odd "family fun" bike ride event. One day that summer I left the house and went for a run on my own. It poured down with rain but I literally felt like Forrest Gump. I couldn't stop running, it was such a relief and it felt like I was releasing so much negative energy, that for most of my life, was just sat with me. It felt like I was getting the better of it. I ran 13km that day - the furthest I'd ran before that was 5km.
I pushed on and entered more and more challenging events. I heard about a local triathlon, and thought well I've always liked swimming, I can ride a bike and I can run 5km, why not. Now here I am starting 2017 with a half Ironman under my belt and more than 150km of running, 500 miles of cycling and 10km of swimming scheduled in the diary.
I don't think most people who know me would ever expect me to be someone who has really suffered with depression and takes long term medication. On the outside I'm a positive person, and you'll rarely find a picture of me on social media without a smile. There's a famous Robin Williams quote: "I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that." Similarly, I don't really like to talk about negative things or want people to worry or sympathise.
Unfortunately, something else always contributed to my sadness ever since being a teenager and in January this year I moved to Manchester for a career change. Metaphorically, I told myself this was my blank canvas and I'm going to spend some time painting my picture and learn to accept some things. I wouldn't say I've had dreams of showing my friends / family this picture, but I knew either the time would have to come or I would live a lie for the rest of my life.
In February 2016 I told someone I'd only got to know for a couple of weeks something I'd never told anyone before. It was a joyous moment, it really shouldn't have been but it was like one of those moments like when you finish a race and you're like "yeah I did it!". I told him the truth about me, that I was attracted to girls as well as guys and suddenly, I felt like I wasn't living a lie anymore. I know it's something or nothing, I know when someone states their sexuality, my reaction is generally like "oh right cool yeah whatever" - I really couldn't care less. But for me personally, it was embarassment, unacceptable, the desire to just want to be "normal", shame, guilt, sadness etc. For over 10 years I hid this deep inside and pretended it didn't exist. By the time I'd realised who I was, I felt like I was too old to tell people and I felt embarrassed to tell people who've known me for years, something that most people come out with in their teens. I just felt ridiculous.
In October my depression combined with the above and additional minor stresses spiralled out of control and even my ever improving running, cycling and general physical ability could not stabilise things. Thankfully I was given help and support to put things right. I very recently told my close family my secret with the help from someone very close and supportive to me and the relief I've felt since is like no other. Now after watching Ben Smith (the 401 marathon man) tell a similar tale on TV, I felt now is the time to just accept and be proud of who I am and express things a little to those who've cared enough to still be reading this now.
Sport has been a priceless gift to me, so although my training habits seem crazy to some people, to me it's like a drug that allows me to be me and get rid of my negative energy, it pushes me to set no boundaries and achieve. I find it funny when people call me "the one that does mad fitness stuff" but I guess my point is, just appreciate what it could be doing for someone - to them it could be giving them something to focus on, a feeling of purpose and the strength to get through the darker days. I wanted to do something to pay back those who have helped me in times of need and also maybe inspire someone else who may be struggling in a similar situation right now. I wanted to raise money for a charity which encourages people with mental health issues to engage in sport and even puts on free events for people to attend - that's something which I'd personally love to see develop across the whole country as I know it could save someone's life.
I felt like I needed to set my biggest challenge yet. So this is what I've put together:
St Annes 10 Miler Run - 29th January ✔️ 1:19:11 / 12th Female
Great North West Half Marathon - 19th February ✔️ 1:49:41 / 12th Female
Polocini Winter Sprinter (64 Mile Bike) - 5th March ❌ DNF due to hypothermia
Wilmslow Half Marathon - 19th March ✔️ 1:48:21 / 198th Female (out of 1,081)
Cheshire Cat Sportive (85 Mile Bike) ✔️
West Lancashire Spring Sprint Triathlon - 9th April ✔️ 1:12:49 / 6th Female
Ribby Hall Sprint Triathlon - 23rd April ✔️ 1:01:44 / 6th Female
Aintree Sportive (75 Mile Bike) - 7th May ✔️
Wiggle Counties Challenge (65 Mile Bike) 14th May ✔️
Outlaw Nottingham Half Ironman - 21st May ✔️ 5:43:33 / 5th Female 25-29
Staffordshire Half Ironman - 18th June ✔️ 6:01:02 / 12th Female 25-29
Manchester to Blackpool to Manchester - 9th July
Salford Olympic distance Triathlon - 30th July
Culford Sprint Tri - 6th August
Cotswolds Half Ironman - 13th August
West Lancs Sprint Tri - 27th August
Fleetwood Sprint Triathlon - 10th September
I'll keep you posted on how things are going and my results. All I ask is to donate if you think I'm doing a good job, or otherwise even if I've just entertained you for 15 minutes, please consider donating and help others out - it means a lot to me :) and if you cannot donate, do not worry at all, just sharing this page and spreading the word would be amazing!
Thank you so much
Rhianna ("that girl who does triathlons, crazy bike rides and eats a lot")
Everyone has ups and downs, but I guess sometimes, people have a slightly unequal balance. Unfortunately I've spent my life hiding some things deep inside which, at times, have mentally tortured me and occasionally put additional strain on the NHS (sorry). One day in November 2012 (this isn't a life story by the way) I found myself coming out of a longish term relationship and realising I'd not made an effort to make friends, and I'd become so chunky, lazy and hooked on kebabs, that I'd become pretty rubbish at my main hobby, football. It was a really low point for me. Fortunately on this day I told myself I can either carry on and be miserable or do something about it.
I decided to join a gym. I barely jogged 0.25km on the treadmill and I was exhausted. I felt pathetic. It did go through my mind that this was a complete waste of time but I mentally forced myself to keep going - I had nothing better to do. After a few weeks I made it to 1km, then 2km and suddenly found myself with that "bug" that everyone talks about. By February / March 2013 I started entering family 5km's and the odd "family fun" bike ride event. One day that summer I left the house and went for a run on my own. It poured down with rain but I literally felt like Forrest Gump. I couldn't stop running, it was such a relief and it felt like I was releasing so much negative energy, that for most of my life, was just sat with me. It felt like I was getting the better of it. I ran 13km that day - the furthest I'd ran before that was 5km.
I pushed on and entered more and more challenging events. I heard about a local triathlon, and thought well I've always liked swimming, I can ride a bike and I can run 5km, why not. Now here I am starting 2017 with a half Ironman under my belt and more than 150km of running, 500 miles of cycling and 10km of swimming scheduled in the diary.
I don't think most people who know me would ever expect me to be someone who has really suffered with depression and takes long term medication. On the outside I'm a positive person, and you'll rarely find a picture of me on social media without a smile. There's a famous Robin Williams quote: "I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that." Similarly, I don't really like to talk about negative things or want people to worry or sympathise.
Unfortunately, something else always contributed to my sadness ever since being a teenager and in January this year I moved to Manchester for a career change. Metaphorically, I told myself this was my blank canvas and I'm going to spend some time painting my picture and learn to accept some things. I wouldn't say I've had dreams of showing my friends / family this picture, but I knew either the time would have to come or I would live a lie for the rest of my life.
In February 2016 I told someone I'd only got to know for a couple of weeks something I'd never told anyone before. It was a joyous moment, it really shouldn't have been but it was like one of those moments like when you finish a race and you're like "yeah I did it!". I told him the truth about me, that I was attracted to girls as well as guys and suddenly, I felt like I wasn't living a lie anymore. I know it's something or nothing, I know when someone states their sexuality, my reaction is generally like "oh right cool yeah whatever" - I really couldn't care less. But for me personally, it was embarassment, unacceptable, the desire to just want to be "normal", shame, guilt, sadness etc. For over 10 years I hid this deep inside and pretended it didn't exist. By the time I'd realised who I was, I felt like I was too old to tell people and I felt embarrassed to tell people who've known me for years, something that most people come out with in their teens. I just felt ridiculous.
In October my depression combined with the above and additional minor stresses spiralled out of control and even my ever improving running, cycling and general physical ability could not stabilise things. Thankfully I was given help and support to put things right. I very recently told my close family my secret with the help from someone very close and supportive to me and the relief I've felt since is like no other. Now after watching Ben Smith (the 401 marathon man) tell a similar tale on TV, I felt now is the time to just accept and be proud of who I am and express things a little to those who've cared enough to still be reading this now.
Sport has been a priceless gift to me, so although my training habits seem crazy to some people, to me it's like a drug that allows me to be me and get rid of my negative energy, it pushes me to set no boundaries and achieve. I find it funny when people call me "the one that does mad fitness stuff" but I guess my point is, just appreciate what it could be doing for someone - to them it could be giving them something to focus on, a feeling of purpose and the strength to get through the darker days. I wanted to do something to pay back those who have helped me in times of need and also maybe inspire someone else who may be struggling in a similar situation right now. I wanted to raise money for a charity which encourages people with mental health issues to engage in sport and even puts on free events for people to attend - that's something which I'd personally love to see develop across the whole country as I know it could save someone's life.
I felt like I needed to set my biggest challenge yet. So this is what I've put together:
St Annes 10 Miler Run - 29th January ✔️ 1:19:11 / 12th Female
Great North West Half Marathon - 19th February ✔️ 1:49:41 / 12th Female
Polocini Winter Sprinter (64 Mile Bike) - 5th March ❌ DNF due to hypothermia
Wilmslow Half Marathon - 19th March ✔️ 1:48:21 / 198th Female (out of 1,081)
Cheshire Cat Sportive (85 Mile Bike) ✔️
West Lancashire Spring Sprint Triathlon - 9th April ✔️ 1:12:49 / 6th Female
Ribby Hall Sprint Triathlon - 23rd April ✔️ 1:01:44 / 6th Female
Aintree Sportive (75 Mile Bike) - 7th May ✔️
Wiggle Counties Challenge (65 Mile Bike) 14th May ✔️
Outlaw Nottingham Half Ironman - 21st May ✔️ 5:43:33 / 5th Female 25-29
Staffordshire Half Ironman - 18th June ✔️ 6:01:02 / 12th Female 25-29
Manchester to Blackpool to Manchester - 9th July
Salford Olympic distance Triathlon - 30th July
Culford Sprint Tri - 6th August
Cotswolds Half Ironman - 13th August
West Lancs Sprint Tri - 27th August
Fleetwood Sprint Triathlon - 10th September
I'll keep you posted on how things are going and my results. All I ask is to donate if you think I'm doing a good job, or otherwise even if I've just entertained you for 15 minutes, please consider donating and help others out - it means a lot to me :) and if you cannot donate, do not worry at all, just sharing this page and spreading the word would be amazing!
Thank you so much
Rhianna ("that girl who does triathlons, crazy bike rides and eats a lot")