Thanks for visiting my page.

I am taking part in this event as on the 8th February this year I lost my amazing husband Lee to bowel cancer.

I want to do my best in raising awareness to this awful disease and the myth that it's only older people that get it. I feel it's important to tell you Lee's journey leading up to and after his diagnosis. I'll apologise now as this is a long one.

It was back in December 2016 when Lee started to suffer with chronic back ache, as he was a chef we both just put it down to that, lifting heavy pans and being hunched over prepping food for long hours everyday would take it's toll. Fast forward to February 2017 and Lee had finally had enough with his back troubles, he visited his GP and told them his issues with his back and also by this time he was also just feeling really lethargic all the time, he also told the GP his family history with Bowl Cancer, He immediately said that Lee was too young to have Bowel Cancer! The GP diagnosed him with a water infection...antibiotics were prescribed but these only made things worse. His problems persisted so Lee went back (March) and this time saw a different GP, he explained everything again and this time the GP said that he most likely had and STD! I was away at the time so Lee called me to tell me what the GP had said, we both laughed as it was just so ridiculous, we were pretty much joined at the hip! So after not being happy with his recent visit to the GP and rightly so, Lee went back again and requested to see a different one. This time blood was taken and an examination was done on his stomach as by now Lee was starting to suffer with terrible stomach cramps after eating, this GP seemed to take Lee more serious. The results came back and we were called in, Lee was severely anaemic, The Dr did another external examination as well as an internal one, she requested more bloods be taken, she also referred Lee to have an endoscopy and colonoscopy. By this time it was April and Lee was due to go on his stag do a few days later, so off he went but even before they had set off for the airport Lee passed out, being a typical man he still went but he admitted that it was a struggle. After lee returned from his stag do it was time for his scope tests, we were thrilled when his endoscopy came back clear but his endoscopy had to be aborted half way through as it became unbearably painful. It was now a week before we were due to get married, we went back to his GP for the results of the recent blood test and to discuss his scopes, this time we received more results from his test, so not only was he anaemic which we already knew but his platelet levels in his blood were off the chart, we didn't really understand what this meant but the Dr knew it was serious, she told us that Lee should really go to the hospital but she also knew that our wedding day was rapidly approaching, so instead we agreed that Lee would have an iron transfusion a few days before and then on the Monday after our wedding he would be admitted to hospital for further tests. The Iron transfusion worked wonders, he had the most energy he had had for months, our wedding day was fantastic, we were able to spend the Sunday as Husband and Wife which was bliss. Monday came and I took Lee to hospital, we both thought he would be in there one maybe two nights max..We were wrong. Lee had CT scans, MRI scans and then on the Thursday he had another colonoscopy this time under sedation. Friday 12th May 2017 was the day we were told Lee had Bowel Cancer, I can't even begin to describe how we both felt that day, I had never seen my Lee look so lost and terrified. The next day Lee had surgery, a Right hemicolectomy, which means he had the right side of his colon removed and the remainder was reattached to his small intestines. The tumour was removed and we thought happy days, just chemo to contend with now. Lee spent just over 2 weeks in hospital.Once Lee returned home from hospital he was in constant pain, mainly in his lower back still, thankfully he was prescribed morphine. 

 Before Lee could start Chemo he had to have more scans done, He had another MRI and a CT with contrast. We didn't get the results of these until we saw Lees oncologist, He then dealt us the blow that actually there was more cancer in Lees lower pelvic area, this was unseen in previous scans as the other tumour was hiding it. This meant a more aggressive chemo was required which Lee wasn't happy about as he thought he would get away with taking tablet chemo instead he had to have a picc line put in his arm which would go straight to his heart to pump the drugs around. For anyone that has had chemo or knows someone that has gone through it you will understand how brutal it is. Lee felt lucky that with his chemo combination he didn't lose his hair, it just thinned it a little bit and what is also did pretty much instantly was get rid of his back pain. What Lee struggled with most was neuropathy which affected his nerves in his hands and feet, he would have to drink through a straw as a cold drink touching his lips caused him pain as well as holding a drink, he would wear socks on his hands as he could hold anything (why socks when he had gloves ill never know). Lees skin changed, it became sore and he came out in rashes all over his face and body. Mouth ulcers also became common after each transfusion. Obviously he was always tired and walking became a big struggle for him, it didn't help that we lived in a top floor flat but I was always there to help him as well as his friends. Lee only managed 5 lots of chemo before it was stopped as it became clear that it wasn't working, all it had done was change the consistency of the tumour instead of shrinking it. Now we had to start thinking about radiotherapy, turns out theres a lot of pre planning before you can start. In the mean time though Lee was struggling with his back pain again and he was barely sleeping because of the pain, so he was prescribed more morphine, liquid form as well as capsules and he was also given some sleeping pills..This is where the fun began, sleeping pills mixed with Lees concoction of pain meds and everything else made for some great hallucinations! I would often wake up in the middle of this night to find Lee in one of his episodes.. one time  I woke up to him running around the flat looking for his gold treasure chest which contained his sword (he never had either) I asked him why he wanted it and he replied with he was trying to fight the pirates that had invaded the Elvis Presley pizza party (WHAT?!), at the same time he was apologising to said pirates and blaming me for hiding his chest. These hallucinations happened a lot and I would just go along with them because it was easier to ride it out than trying to reason with him. 

By now it was October and Lee was increasingly struggling each day, it wasn't until the end of October just after my birthday when he asked me to take him to A&E as he couldn't bear it anymore, he was admitted and spent a week in hospital, his pain meds were increased and a scan was done which showed progression of the tumour. Just under two weeks later Lee woke me in the early hours of the morning asking me to take him to A&E again, he was admitted again and this time more scans were done to find out exactly what was happening. As Lee was struggling to digest food he had to have a TPN line fitted, this was to get the much needed nutrients pumped straight into his blood stream. Every day we were told something different as to what was going on inside Lee, we were told he would probably have to have another operation but this time a Stoma would be fitted, Lee was devastated at hearing this, it took a lot to persuade him but luckily there was a young lad in the opposite bed to Lee who had a bag and he managed to bring lee around to the idea of having one, telling him that they aren't actually bad and it saved his life. Then the following day we were taken into another room and told that actually there wasn't anything that could be done for Lee, we were given 3 options:

1) Do nothing and the cancer will grow and eventually block the bowel.   2) An operation to assess and if possible a Stoma to be put in place.       3) An operation to assess but highly unlikely anything would be possible.

Radiotherapy was now also out of the question because of the complexity of the cancer and its position, it would just destroy everything in the vicinity of it.                                                                             We now had to discuss what was going to happen next, We agreed together that we would just go home, Lee didn't want any more surgery, he was sick of seeing the many rooms in the hospital. Lee expressed his wishes to stay at home, he didn't want to spend what time he had left in a hospice. I agreed, as he was much more comfortable at home. He received palliative care at home, well it was mainly phone calls with the nurses as he was a stubborn and adamant that he wanted no health care professionals in our home. I would often have to call them to inform them of how he was and how he was coping, it wasn't until the beginning of February this year that I had to call the crisis team out. On the 3rd feb Lee had a number of seizures, I was terrified as I didn't know what was happening at first, the paramedics came out but as Lee was unwilling to go to hospital there was nothing they could do but inform the out of hours doctors. The following day Lee had another seizure and again paramedics came but this time they called a doctor to come out to assess him, She came and again as Lee was reluctant to go to hospital there wasn't anything she could do, she made calls to the crisis team and they were to come see us a few hours later. Once they came they gave Lee something to relax him and control his seizures, they also prescribed him some what I can only describe as supersonic mouthwash and drops to help with his ulcers and throat as it had become painful for him to swallow and talk. Over the next couple days we had the nurses out to assess him and dose him up with anti seizure drugs. The final call I made to the crisis team was to come out one final time to give him some medazalam as I knew that this was it, I held onto his hand watching him settle back down, I drifted off to sleep and I woke just over an hour later, I knew that this was the end, I held onto him as Lee took his final breaths. At 4:25am on the 8th February Lee became forever young.

 Lee always said that once he got better he wanted to help other people and do fundraising of his own. Lee never got the chance. Our family and friends rallied around to make his last months as comfortable and laughter filled as possible which we were and still are grateful for.

I am doing this for my forever young Lee but with your help WE would be helping others which is what Lee would want!

Thank You <3