Mental health is a subject many are too embarrassed or ashamed to talk about. I guess I was one of them people until about 10 years ago when I lost my Grandad. That was when it all started, but the sad and scary thing is, is that I didn’t realise this would be the start. What many people wont know is that this would be the moment one of my best friends would go on to save my life.

The loss of my Grandad and a string of abusive, violent and mentally draining relationships on me, and all that care for me would shape the next 10 years of my life. This became the start of my own personal battle of depression, anxiety, self-harming and lack of self worth.

It was clear that my mental health was becoming other people’s problem and they would the ones who would help me through my on-off battle for the next 8 years. It wasn’t until 2 years ago when I hit rock bottom I decided enough was enough and I finally seeked medical help. The dependence on others wasn’t healthy and meant that once they had gone I wasn’t ok again. I needed to break the cycle and try something different. With medication and many hours of therapy I finally realised that my issues weren’t other people and how they treated me, it was me and how I think and feel about myself. I assumed that I didn’t deserve to be happy, that I was to forever be in unhappy and abusive relationships, as long as they were happy then all would be good. But that isn’t true. It is my choice; my life and I need to live it how I want to. I need to make the most of my time left on this planet to better myself, and the world we live in and help support everyone on their own self-discovery.

This meant it was time for me to get off my lazy arse and change my outlook on life. The therapy and medication was the start of me changing the way I think. It gave me the confidence to seek other forms of therapy and other ways of dealing with my on going demons. I signed up for a course that I hoped would help me become a stronger person and would help me in helping others in how they had helped me.

It started off, as a course about bettering the world and all that is around us, however, now 8 weeks on, I have learnt so much about myself, how if I make a conscious effort to be positive it will make people around me positive. How if I take the time to count down from 5 every morning before I get out of bed it will set me up to face the day, make me mindful of the calm silence of the morning before the day begins. How if I am on this planet for an average of 30,000 days, how will I spend my remaining time making this world the best it could possibly be.

If I can help someone plan for their future, to give someone the chance to believe they have a future then I have spent the last of my days doing something amazing. And that is exactly what I want to do. I want to give someone a future. I got to the point where I never thought I would have a future; I would be the one to stop it short and not worry about the distraction I would leave behind. But I don’t want to be ruled by my demons anymore because the truth is each day has the potential of beauty and sometimes we just need to help each other to realise that.

I was lucky enough to have an amazing support network and I can honestly say without them I would never have got to where I am today. I still have my down days but then life throws you these interesting little things that makes you realise it is worth fighting for, everyday.

It is about doing it together, and supporting each other through our darkest days as well as the brightest of days. Be by someone side to help them realise one day they are amazing enough to go on and plan their future. Together for Mental Health is a charity very close to my heart, and this is exactly what they did for me and so many people like me.

Be kind, be confident, happiness is amazing, it doesn’t matter if its yours or not, enjoy it!