I've always wanted to do a skydive, but my husband Albert always managed to talk me out of it & used to say; "why would you jump out of a perfectly good aircraft, that was going to land anyway?" I kinda got his point & saying that I'd just always wanted to seemed to be a feeble response. After once being a roofer & scaffolder, he lost the nerve (which sometimes happens) & then forever after used to say he got dizzy wearing 2 pairs of socks! So I never managed to do a skydive, until now. He's probably trying to talk me out of it as we speak, but I can get my own back on him by saying I can't hear him (one of Albert's get out clauses that he used on many occasions, "oh sorry love, I never heard you"! Whatever!!Albert was one of life's one-offs, a true character, they broke the mould so to speak. Nothing & no-one ever stood in his way if he wanted to do something. Until he got cancer.

You hear about people all the time, that either have cancer or are touched by it in some way, being a loved one, friend or colleague. You always feel sorry for them, but you don't really think about it because it's someone else. You never think you will ever be in their shoes. Until it happens to you.

Albert started to feel unwell in mid Dec 2010 after a seemingly minor incident of being sick trying to eat a lamb dinner (not something he ever had a problem with & would certainly never waste)! He was sick a few times after that, but put it down to maybe eating too quickly or not chewing his food properly. However after a unsettled xmas, we ended up spending New Year's Day 2011 in Aberdeen Royal Infirmary's A&E, because Albert couldn't stop being sick. He wasn't keeping anything down & we had started to worry that this might be something more serious. After seeing his GP Dr Teale (who was amazing throughout) in mid January 2011, he was referred immediately to see a specialist gastro-enterologist to find out what was going on. Albert then seemed to have test after test, scans & x-rays galore. He finally had a biopsy of his oesophagus wall (gullet), after the specialist noticed a very slight difference in a patch of his tissue there. We got the result of this biopsy on 18th March 2011. I remember sitting in the specialist's office & Albert told him "not to pull any punches & tell him straight". That was the moment when our world fell apart. You hear about people having an 'out of body' experience at certain moments. This was one of them for me, I literally felt like I was looking down on the three of us in that room & time seemed to slow. We both walked out of that office stunned & knocked for 6. I cried all the way home. We both cried that night. We were married within the week, the quickest, quietest wedding ever, as we were told not to wait & were given special permission to do so. It was one of the happiest & saddest times of my life. The next 5 months were a blur of hospital appointments including more x-rays, scans & then chemotherapy. This lasted 9 weeks & was exhausting for Albert, it was tiring enough for me just being there. He was on 28 tablets a day throughout his chemo & 12 hours at a time at the hospital being pumped full of it. He tried to get on with daily life as normal as possible, but was quite often too tired to do things or go anywhere. He became quite depressed throughout this time and it was a very hard time for him trying to cope with it all. The plus point of the chemo though, was the fact that his eating gradually improved over the weeks, which is what the doctors had said may well happen, with the chemo reducing the size of the tumour. He started to put back on some weight and although was mentally & emotionally drained he began to look better physically. The nurses were amazed at the fact that his hair had not fallen out as they said the type of chemo he had meant your hair usually does. Well for those of us who know what Albert's hair was like, there wasn't much chance of it falling out, it was like a wire brush! He was certainly Rough Head's son that's for sure. His hair just turned whiter and very soft, something it had never been & was quite a novelty for both of us I can tell you! He began enjoying his food again, after becoming virtually afraid of eating in case he was sick all the time, so this made him feel better again in lots of ways. He finished his chemo in the middle of June & was told that his operation was going to be in 8 weeks time on 17 August 2011 at Aberdeen Royal Infirmary. He felt considerably better in himself after the chemo and his appetite was fantastic, so much so that the doctor had to reduce his steroid intake before he ate us out of house & home! He phoned me at work one day to tell me that he couldn't stop eating. It was just about 12 noon and he'd eaten 2 bowls of cereal, 8 slices of toast, 2 tins of burgers in gravy, a tin of soup and also all of his tea that he had made ready for that evening with mine. I said I thought we'd better have a word with the doctor because I wouldn't be able to keep up with the shopping at this rate! He managed to put back on all of the weight that he had lost over the months previously and was even able to do some of the jobs that he hadn't been able to do for quite some time, like his gardening. He got some enthusiasm back for everyday things that he enjoyed doing, like cooking, tinkering with stuff in the steading and shooting again. We regularly visited family and friends during the months that Albert was poorly and this boosted him up no end. No-one boosted him up more though, than him seeing and spending time with his beautiful grandson Nathaniel, the son of his daughter Samantha. He was the absolute apple of Albert's eye and the most important person in his life, just as it should have been. Nathaniel could do anything to his Grandad and Albert would just let him. He would spend hours letting him push & pull him on & off the sofa laughing all the time and then still come back for more. Albert was made to be a Grandad for all the best reasons & loved every single minute of it. It is the saddest thing that I think about now, knowing that Albert is not here to see Nathaniel grow up & spend time with him and to know that Nathaniel will miss out on the most amazing Grandad he could ever wish for. He would have taught him so much and looked forward to doing just that, as he told me often.

Albert went into hospital on 16 August, the day before his op & he never came out. The operation was over 9 hours long & probably one of the biggest operations that anyone can have, according to the surgeon. Myself and his son Anthony saw him briefly after his op & he made a couple of jokes, with great effort under the oxygen mask, but he was still there. That was the last time that I saw the real Albert, my Albert, ever again. He was in the Intensive Care Unit for the next 3 months, during which he endured so much, including being operated on again more than once, having blood transfusions & at one time had 11 lines going into his neck. He was also in a coma for most of one week. It was very hard to watch, but thankfully Albert was unaware of most of this going on, being under sedation or off in his own world. I still feel that I lost Albert at that time after his op & the months that followed were a blur of hospital visits and watching the person that you love, physically slipping slowly away from you. Mentally he had already left me, as I never got another glimpse of the true Albert that I knew & loved again. That was the hardest thing about his time in the ICU, my not being able to really connect with him like we had always done. I was told that he would know I was there, but just not able to communicate this back to me properly. The doctors said that there had only been one other case they knew of who had been in ICU as long & despite one of the greatest fights that they had ever seen, he wasn't going to make it. I was told this just a few hours before he passed away. His family were told as soon as myself & his son Anthony were informed & they all raced up to see him. Albert passed away a couple of minutes before they got there, when Anthony had left the room to meet them. I'd told him that we were on our own & he moved his head and looked slowly around the room, as if to check I wasn't lying. He then looked straight back at me, as if he was satisfied we were alone & then quietly left. I'd lost my soulmate, best friend & (after my parents) the biggest influence on my life to date. He was an incredible man, one of life's real individuals & a true 'rough diamond'. I will never forget how this wonderful man made me feel & will be forever thankful for the time that we were able to spend together, even though it was cruelly cut short. The time from him starting to feel poorly, to him leaving us, was just over 10 months.

We have all either lost someone close to us like this, or know someone who has. Cancer is unfortunately becoming a more & more common word when you hear of someone being ill. How many times have you thought that you never used to hear it so much years ago, but now seems to be everywhere. We need to do something about this & I want to help as much as I can in this fight. Albert fought will all of his strength to beat cancer & I'm determined to continue that for him, in his memory. Now here's the info bit.

Thank you for visiting my online fundraising page in support of Cancer Research UK. Please dig deep and sponsor me, or donate– it’s quick, easy and totally secure.

Cancer Research UK is funded entirely by amazing supporters like you. By sponsoring me you can help more people survive cancer. Every pound you donate really does make a difference to Cancer Research UK’s life-saving work into preventing, diagnosing and treating cancer – so please sponsor me now!

Gift Aid it! If you are a UK taxpayer, please remember to tick the Gift Aid box when donating as this will increase your donation by at least 25% at no cost to you.

Many, many thanks for your support, honestly.

Together we will beat cancer, in memory of Albert & all our other loved ones that we have lost to this selfish, indiscriminate disease.

Love, Steph xxx