An open and honest post... with some very real photos..... this is what BC looks like (for me)

I've put off writing this post for ages, I guess I never felt in the right frame of mind and I always wanted it to be a positive post with the end in sight and a post that might help to make a difference.

In Nov 2018 I was diagnosed with breast cancer with multiple tumours and a spread to my lymph nodes under my arm.

This has been particularly difficult for my family, because it was breast cancer that took my beautiful mum away from us in 2004.

Since diagnosis, I have only really ever had two massive fears....

1. Was a rather irrational one at the beginning. I was pertrified that my 5 year old twin boys would be too young to remember me when they grew up.

2. It scares the life out of me and still does, that I found the cancer myself. Not a lump, I just knew something "felt" different in my breast. Subsequently 3 doctors felt it and assured me it was absolutely nothing to worry about......and here I am today having had surgery and sitting in this chemo chair now writing this.

I have had 2 operations: a double mastectomy and then a full lymph node clearance, for me I'm glad they have gone......well rid (big shout to the Flat friends FB group for your support)! And today I embark on 18 weeks of chemotherapy, this is more of a belt and braces to ensure any tiny cancer cells that may have escaped are destroyed.

There have been some weirdly funny times during treatment, and there have also been some really down times, but I found that talking to someone helped me to start to sort my head out.

To everyone, reading this, but especially to all the girls in my year at school, please check your breasts regularly and if you are at all unsure go and get them checked, if I had left this and ignored my gut feeling ...... well who knows where I would have been in a few years time.

To quote a good friend.... Cancer is a **** but out of the fog you meet some pretty amazing people. People I didn't even know existed, but now I couldn't live without.

My fire crew at Richmond Station have been an amazing support, thank you guys x
As have the Fire Service as a whole.

My friends and family have been truly amazing, delivering food, taking the boys to and from school, and having them to stay over night, taking me out when I was recovering, taking me for a pint! Just sitting and being with me and making me smile whilst in hospital and listening to my 3am text rants full of worry, to you all, I am eternally grateful.

My wife Charlie has been incredible, I know this has been tough for her, but she stepped up and has taken over absolutely everything. Sold a house, bought a house, kept the family going, done everything for me, thank you and I love you always Charlie x

I want something positive to come out of all this **** and therefore have set myself a challange!

One year from my first operation Charlie and I will be running the Death Valley Marathon in California - Dec 2019 (thought the name of the marathon was pretty cool).

I will be raising money for the Firefighters Charity and South Tees Hospital Charity where I have received the most amazing care.

The trip is self funded and already paid for, all money raised will go direct to the charities.

If you could help me support these amazing charities I would be so greatful.....