On Wednesday 22nd October 2014 our brother and friend Toby took his own life.

I write this not to shock or upset but to break the ridiculous taboo that suicide is somehow shameful to those left behind; a guilty secret never mentioned or at best muttered awkwardly before the subject is quickly changed. 

Suicide is the single biggest killer of men aged 20 to 45 in the UK and what is shameful is that this fact is not more widely known. 

Toby may have made a few bad decisions in his life but I challenge anybody reading this to say that they have not. For Toby, to decide was to act. To think was to do. It was a quality I always admired. 

There are consequences when we make decisions and I believe everybody would accept that. But in the last few years of his life the losses Toby was subjected to were far beyond what anybody could have expected to suffer. Sadly, they were also more than Toby could endure. 

Toby's loss is indescribable and we will all carry the burden of it for the rest of our lives. It is not something I would wish on anybody but it is something that could affect us all. 

"The majority of individuals who commit suicide do not have a diagnosable mental illness. They are people just like you and I who at a particular time are feeling isolated, desperately unhappy and alone." ~ Margaret Appleby & Margaret Condonis 

David and I have lost our big brother, our leader in so many adventures. Our parents have lost their son: passionate, wilful and loving. Lola and Ewan have lost their daddy and I do not have the words to convey the depth of my feeling for them. 

Toby's last messages were ones of love for his children, his family and his friends. 

78% of all UK suicides are male and the Campaign Against Living Miserably is a charity dedicated to preventing male suicide. If they can reach out to just one more man who needs their help as a result of your generous donations then I will consider 13.1 miles a very small price to pay. 

David and I would like to thank you all and especially the amazing friends who will be joining us on Sunday 18th October 2015, almost a year to the day since Toby's death. 

Nick, Mark, Hannah, Duncan - thank you.

We will not perpetuate the silence, the stigma or the shame.