Thanks for taking the time to visit our JustGiving page, which has been set up by friends and family of Tom David Hawkshaw, to honour his memory, to enable and promote a greater awareness of the very significant and tragic issue of male suicide. 

Men are three times more likely than women to take their own lives. On average 12 amazing, bright and caring men die each day in the U.K, you can think of that as a football team every day. CALM -Campaign Against Living Miserably is an award winning Charity, whose prime aim is to help men talk about their problems, and to get them the help they desperately need. The events that we are taking part in, in Tom"s memory, are to raise money in order to assist CALM with essential the financial support it needs to continue its vital work.

Some further words from Tom's dad:

"Losing a child is not something that is easy to come to terms with. It is not the natural order of life. To lose a Son to a serious depressive illness brings an added burden of unanswered questions.

Tom was everything a father could ever want in a Son. He was compassionate, caring and loving. He was sensitive to the needs of others, and the motivation that stemmed from that was realised in the friendships he developed and his voluntary activities. Not least of those was his time in York as a Special Constable. It was while working a night shift with the Specials, that Tom had what he called ‘A Moment’, a dawn of realisation that he would have far more opportunities to positively influence young lives as a Teacher, than he ever would have working in the Police. From that moment his life path was clear, and he showed a single minded determination to fulfil his strong sense of vocation, and he succeeded. I watched with the pride and joy only a father can know as my Tom blossomed into a man, a real man.

His burgeoning relationship with Sarah was a source of great happiness for him and for me, and he shared with me how true love had caused him to examine himself, and I know he wanted to be the best he possibly could for her.

In one of my latter emails to Tom, I spoke to him about not trying to be perfect, because that wasn't his job. Instead, I asked him to try and be the best imperfect person he could be, because that is all any of us can do in life, and when we are loved, really loved, as he was by Sarah, then that means being loved for being imperfect.

At Tom’s Thanksgiving Service I made a plea for us to help break the taboo of silence that surrounds the emotive subject of Suicide. I said that if we did not take the opportunity, in honouring Tom and his memory to talk about this, then we were effectively perpetuating that taboo.

There were many loving tributes to Tom, not all of them could be read at the Service, there just wasn't enough time. After the Service a very insightful and wise friend of mine, who had only met Tom once some years ago, said that the quality of Tom’s friends spoke very clearly of the true man that Tom had become.

As was said at the Thanksgiving Service, his death was a tragedy, but the way he lived his life was a triumph. I sense very strongly that this triumph will go on, in the way that you, his friends honour him, by translating your love for him into action. In carrying the flame of love you have for Tom, and that he had for you all, you could do no better than to do what you are doing now, showing you care about others who struggle with life, by supporting CALM -Campaign Against Living Miserably. It is precisely the sort of action Tom would have taken, were he now able to do so. You are doing this for him, and I know you will succeed."

David 
Tom’s Dad

Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving - they'll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they'll send your money directly to the charity. So it's the most efficient way to donate - saving time and cutting costs for the charity.