It was not easy getting Jacob, I had a ruptured ectopic and a miscarrage trying. I was elated when the pregnancy test showed I was expecting. I was wheelchair bound with a complicated pregnancy, Jacob arrived weighing 9lbs 14oz. he looked like the michelin man, but he was perfect.

He was funny, cheeky and people would stop me in the supermarket to tell me how beautiful he was. When Jacob turned 1 he started with a sore throat and his 1st bout of tonsilitis was confirmed, he was given anti-biotics I thought nothing of it. He got it again. Then again. during his time on the 3rd lot of anti-biotics Jacob developed a rash, a typical rash you would expect to see from meningits. I took him to the GP who was clueless as he had no other symptoms and told me to take him to A&E. 

Jacob was very boystrous and was covered in bruises as most 15 month old toddlers are. In  hospital I counted them, 26. His face was puffy, but he was chubby. He looked pale, but was so happy.

In A&E they checked him over and and found nothing urgent, I asked them to take him blood, they did, and sent us home. 

1am, the house phone rang. I never plugged my house phone in as  i was sick of random calls from india. When I answered the nurse said she had been ringing for an hour and was about to call the police to come to the house. I wasnt surprised, I knew it was cancer. She told me to come to the hospital urgently. I put Jacob in the car and drove like mad, I shouted at Jacob the whole way there, I screamed at him 'YOUR NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE ME, THATS NOT HOW THIS WORKS'

We got to the hospital, they sat me in cubicle and a nurse took Jacob from me, I said 'its cancer isnt it' the doctors eyes filled, mine didnt.....'she said we think Leukaemia but we need to do more tests'

I felt like the air had been squeezed out of me, I couldnt cry, I couldnt breathe, I couldnt see anything but him dying. I left the room and left Jacob, he was going to leave me so what did it matter? I sat in the entrance to Jubilee wing and shouted, the security guard walked towards me, I stared at him and he stopped........

We were moved straight to the oncology ward, given a bed at 2:30am. All I could hear was beeping and the room was quiet and dark, it was the worst part of it all......the next day Jacob was diagnosed with Leukamia and started chemotherapy that week he was dignosed with Actute Lymphoblastic Leukamia.

When your child is diagnosed with cancer the world stops, all you can see is death and you immediately want it to be you. I questioned a god that i never believed in, I selfishly wished it upon other people, questioned why it was MY child, I hated myself, i thought it was something I did wrong. 

Jaocb was in hospital attached to wires and tubes, given fluids, bloods and platelets as all were dangerously low. He NEVER complained, rarely cried, he made it ok for everyone who came to visit him (i love those that did)

Now 28 months after diagnoses and into treatment his body and health has taken a huge beating and its taking his toll, but he is still cheeky, happy and pretty amazing. He still enjoys going into hospital for his chemo and thats down to the charity im fundraising for. The clinic is not a clinic, its an awesome place for children to have to undergo treatment, they have everything we all need and their staff are the most supportive people, they genuinelly care, not just about Jaocb but the whole family. I can say they have made the entire process less harrowing and for Jacob pretty fun!

please donate, even if its £1......that could buy some glitter pens for clinic!!