On saturday the 18th of August instead of lazing about / i'm swimming across the Clyde: I'm mad, without a doubt / I'm wearing my trusty wetsuit to protect me from the cold / But also to ward off other things of which i have been told / Jellyfish and condoms, eels and shopping bags / Trolleys, turds and tissues, and people's stubbed oot fags / I'll try to keep a clear head, swim through all things sludgy: / Hope nobody on a passing ferry needs to flush the Cludgy / Why am i doing this? i hear you ask: what on Earth appeals? /The raw beauty of the waves, shared with local seals / But most importantly of all, it's for a worthy cause / I'm going to do this 2 mile swim, and going to bust ma baws / For Macmillan Cancer Support, that's what it's all about / Every little helps so thanks for helping me out!!!!!