Blackmailed by my otherwise charming children, I shall be taking part in the Lions Club Dorchester Fun Run on 13th April, where, depending on levels of fitness and proximity to hedges, I will run / jog / amble / crawl around the county town of Dorset for anything up to five miles. 

In return for your money - and apart from the inner warmth you will receive from helping an excellent cause - you will receive, absolutely free and without charge, a blog post on my mystifyingly popular website at that will contain the words "I wish I was dead", "My legs are no longer working" and, almost certainly, "sick inna hedge".

Whatever happens, I will complete the run and give a big, fat pile of cash to those fantastic Cancer Research UK people.

How could you possibly lose?

Donating through this site is simple, fast and totally secure. It is also the most efficient way to sponsor me: Cancer Research UK will receive your money faster and, if you are a UK taxpayer, an extra 28% in tax will be added to your gift at no cost to you.

In the words of poor, dead Spike Milligan: "Thank you for your support. I shall wear it always."

Raising money for

Cancer Research UK

Cancer Research UK

Charity Registration No. in England and Wales 1089464, Scotland SC041666

Cancer Research UK is the world's leading charity dedicated to beating cancer through research. We are fighting cancer on all fronts, finding new ways to prevent, diagnose and treat it to save more lives. We are entirely funded by the public. With your help, we can ensure more people beat cancer.

Donations 19

Bugger. I never was any good at maths. Have a bit more.

Donation by Nosemonkey on 19/04/08


+ £0.99 Gift Aid

There, a nice round number. (Well, near enough... Assuming my maths is right on the tax add-on...)

Donation by Nosemonkey on 19/04/08


+ £3.75 Gift Aid

This makes your 150 quid target. And I bought your bastard book too.

Donation by JohnD. on 16/04/08


+ £0.85 Gift Aid

Yes, I'm a tight git but payday's a lot further away than the pub.

Donation by Jaketherat on 14/04/08


+ £0.56 Gift Aid

Well done, mate!

Donation by Shep on 14/04/08


+ £1.41 Gift Aid

You are NOT mad. Honest.

Donation by Kynon on 13/04/08


+ £2.82 Gift Aid

scrounging bastard

Donation by Gert on 12/04/08


+ £2.82 Gift Aid

Plz to include happy hedging mobile phone footage. Niet tax donation as I'm informed you have to earn real cash money to pay tax.

Donation by C'riz on 09/04/08


Advance on the £172K5 (and my beer money for this weekend) + Video pleeeze!

Donation by Donsparis on 04/04/08


That's the ton mate.... now get running you lardy tosser :-)

Donation by special_k on 03/04/08


+ £2.26 Gift Aid

Good god scary are you entirely sure about this?!?

Donation by Big P W on 03/04/08


+ £2.82 Gift Aid

Sorry I can't give more. Spending more than I'm earning right now!

Donation by Mosh on 03/04/08


+ £0.56 Gift Aid

Are St John on standby?

Donation by Martin Wood on 03/04/08


+ £1.41 Gift Aid

I demand video evidence

Donation by Vicus Scurra on 03/04/08


+ £7.05 Gift Aid

Can we offer a bonus if you're ACTUALLY sickinnahedge?

Donation by FJ on 03/04/08


+ £2.82 Gift Aid

Mad? Yes. Yes, you are. And a few quid richer as well. The starving orphans will love that gruel you

Donation by Richard Rich on 03/04/08


+ £2.82 Gift Aid

Well done - you are not mad!

Donation by Bob on 03/04/08


+ £1.41 Gift Aid

Distance runners, their bodies wrecked from exhaustion, have involuntarily done poos.

Donation by Mjohnson on 03/04/08


+ £1.41 Gift Aid

Good luck Scaryduck

Donation by stuj on 03/04/08


+ £5.64 Gift Aid

Donation summary

  • * Online donations£166.80
  • Offline donations£33.00
  • Text donations£0.00
  • Total raised£199.80
  • Gift Aid£41.41

* Charities pay a small fee for our service. Find out how much it is and what we do for it.