Healthy doctors, healthy patients

I have worked in the health service as a Doctor for 26 years. Losing my professional mentor who was a role model and a good friend to suicide, along with other traumatic childhood events, acrimonious spilt up from a long-term GP partnership slowly led to a complete mental breakdown and burnout that I was unable to function physically and mentally. Pre-covid I was diagnosed with depression.

Transference is a strong emotion which is taken for granted among healthcare professionals. We are as vulnerable as our patients are. Like many of our peers, I compartmentalised those events and carried on with life. When I was diagnosed with depression, I was given a clear picture as to how I managed to mask all my childhood trauma and traumatic life events, which eventually had a catastrophic impact on me in my middle age.

I was told I haven't dealt with any of the trauma but merely masked it. Since then, I took help from CBT and medications which have helped me come out of depression. My worst fear coming out of treatment has always been relapse, this is when I came across the programme Inner Engineering which has helped me engineer my mental and physical balance to function at its best. This along with sports, music and change of work pattern has enabled me to feel content in both my work and personal life. I also express my sincere gratitude to Practitioner Health programme, Professor Dame Clare Gerada and my counsellor Ms.Vivienne Harte for looking after me.

I want to share my journey with you, so that we as a ‘profession’ speak about mental health amongst healthcare workers and seek help at the right time for our own and patient wellbeing. This is why I will be climbing Ben Nevis to raise money for Doctors in Distress, a charity that works to protect the mental health of healthcare workers across the UK, and of which I am an ambassador.

Let us join hands and climb Ben Nevis for a good cause!