I’m Natasha, a parent carer. I have four children and three of them are on the autistic spectrum. Like so many families, we’re starting to get ready for Christmas.   

On top of the usual preparations, we’ll be trying to keep things as calm and ‘normal’ as we can. Our children may not always want to join in, so we’ll be trying to be their best advocate, ensuring they get the Christmas they want. Struggling is not a nice way to live at any time, but at Christmas, when everyone else is happy and smiling, it is even worse.   

A stranger told my daughter that if she ‘screamed like that,’ Santa wouldn’t bring her any presents. My daughter was having a difficult day, and was at the end of her ability to cope. Our special children are already doing their best all the time to manage without breaking down, so at Christmas, with even more pressure, perhaps we should avoid pairing behaviour with the promise of presents?   

Friends and relatives will always visit at Christmas – but being made to kiss, hug and chat to people who seem like a load of strangers can be traumatic  and certainly not ‘fun’! We’ll be staying home, where our children can feel safe, or turning down invitations. If we overdo it, our little ones will soon unravel and, without a chance to recover, will end up not enjoying the best bits Christmas has to offer.  

Christmas is perhaps the most challenging time of year for us families with children on the autistic spectrum. For most families, there is so much going on: carol services, visiting relatives, decorations, presents, parties, different food, and so on. For parent carers, all these things, which can add so much excitement, can also make life even more stressful and anxiety-inducing.   

But there’s joy to be had, too – and with the right support, some quiet time, and awareness from those around us, we can all share a joyful Christmas and a peaceful New Year caring for each other.