In loving memory of a wonderful mother, wife, aunty and sister, Appy. May her love, laughter, radiance, and words of wisdom, never be forgotten.

For those of you who knew Appy you may already know her story. It begins where she was born, in a small village, “pind”, called Ramgargh in Punjab, India. If there is something you should know about the Indian culture, it’s that giving birth to a girl is not quite the same as to being blessed with a boy. Yes, this may seem very “traditional or old school” but unfortunately this was the case for her. Shortly after her mother gave birth to her, Mum became very ill and she was not expected to survive. Her father had called on his wife as he had been offered the opportunity to move to England to work, and so her mother made the painful decision to leave her in India. Little did they know, she would survive.

She spent the first four years of her life being raised by her dearest family and beautiful grandmother “Beji”, of whom she thought was her mother. Mum was so fond of her memories here, running through sugar cane fields without shoes, using cow pats for fuel, swimming in the canal and washing in the tube well, “the proper village life”.

When she was 4 years old her grandmother told her that she was not her real mother and that she would be going on a plane to England to meet her parents for the first time. Mum didn’t speak a word of English and only seemed to have memories of picking the prettiest air stewardess, as you do at that age, and insulting her dad when she first met him by saying:

Little did she know she was one of the lucky ones…

Soon after moving to the UK, she learnt to read and write English, she completed primary school, high school, graduated with a degree in chemical engineering, and became a Senior Process Engineer. Yes, that is right, she wasn’t a doctor! Her parents told her “Not chemical engineering, that’s a man’s job!”, but if you knew mum, you would know that those sorts of sentiments would only want to make her do it even more.

Traditional Indian culture, to which Appy’s parents adhered to, was such that their wish was to arrange her marriage with a nice Indian boy, preferably a doctor, lawyer, accountant or similar. Mum had no plans for this, in-fact she used to make up all kinds of excuses… “sorry I can’t make it, I’ve crashed my car!” and her parents gave up after a while.

She then decided to introduce her parents to the English guy she was dating (our dad). It was just like a scene from Bend it like Beckham! Unfortunately, Appy never got her parents blessing before the wedding, but in spite of this, she still married Peter, as they were truly meant for each other. Her will to do things on her own terms was her strength, but it came at a very upsetting cost. Soon after, Apinder and Peter moved to Australia, where they raised their two daughters, Jasmine and Anisha.

Fortunately, after a few years, her parent’s stubbornness softened, and she managed to repair the relationship with her mother and father. She always found a power to forgive people as she forgave her parents.

Appy was a survivor, who shared a lot of her life lessons; culture, food, laughter, and she truly touched the hearts of many.

So, here’s the important bit.

In 2015 mum took us to her village in Punjab, to show us where she grew up. We met “Beji” who raised her, we visited her school, we met her best friend from when she was 4 years old. This moment really hit home for my family because quite frankly, that could have been our mum. Still using cow pats for fuel, still running through fields of sugar cane and still washing clothing in the river.

My family would like to ask you to please donate to Appy’s Aid to help us empower and educate young girls, so they too can experience the same opportunities as our mum’s. All the money will go towards providing young girls, from the same school in the same village that our mum went to, with education, food, shoes, books, stationery, and sanitary products.

I know that times are tough right now, but if you can donate anything at all, we would be eternally grateful.

Thanks for reading,

Anisha and Jasmine Quick x