My Wife Kate’s Story

As most of you will be aware, in 2012, my wife (Kate Freer) was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer. At the age of 32 and with two small children (aged 4 and 18 months at the time) this came as devastating news for both Kate and indeed our family and friends. However, with the amazing support of our family, friends, doctors and nurses at the LRI, Macmillan, LOROS and the Willow Foundation Kate fought her hardest and managed to make it through extensive surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy in addition to various other forms of ongoing treatment and still be smiling for the people in her life who she loves and cares about.

The treatment was debilitating for her and left her with a number of long term health issues which over the years have stopped her doing lots of the things that she should have been doing as a young woman of her age. She has missed out on seeing the world, has had to cancel going out with her friends and family and the physical tiredness that she has faced on a daily basis has limited her massively. However despite this she has continued to be an amazing teacher at a local primary school for the last 13 years (sadly leaving at Christmas due to ill health and much needed time to spend with her family and friends), an amazing mother and wife and always (and still does!) putting others first. She has also raised money herself for cancer related charities by taking part in fundraising events and has spent time supporting others undergoing similar treatment, both emotionally and practically.

Kate is beautiful, remarkable, positive and is full of happiness and warmth. Kate always tries to make the most of every moment and is thankful that she is still here, when others that she went through treatment with, sadly weren’t so lucky.

However sadly after a period of extremely poor health before and after Christmas, we knew in the back of our minds that some horrendous news was coming to hit our family again.

In early February, during a stay in the respiratory and cardiac ward, Kate was devastatingly told that her cancer was back and that it has now metastasised to both of her lungs. Kate’s cancer is now Stage 4 and incurable, with a terminal prognosis. We were all devastated. Kate was sadly given the news whilst we were not present at the hospital and could only bring herself to deliver the news to us all using very few words at first as she wanted her family and friends to be shielded as much as possible from the news of the ultimate end to her illness and that the remaining treatment was only palliative. The thought of having to tell our two beautiful children who were already massively missing their beautiful Mum being at home and in hospital again, made her physically sick, the thought of not being able to see her children grow up was the hardest thing about it for her and missing out on creating so many wonderful memories with them. Something that a Mother should never ever miss out on in such a cruel way.

Despite the potential side effects and the complications that they could bring, Kate made it clear that she would try absolutely anything and suffer unimaginable pain to gain just one more day with her children and family to create as many possible memories to share and leave them with. However options are extremely limited now due to how poorly her body has become and her ability to tolerate some medications. It makes me feel so sad not to be able to take it all away for her and to give her her life back.

Due to the amount of weight and specifically muscle that she has lost and the constant exhaustion and pain that she feels, whilst she tries her very best to walk very short distances (on a good day) both inside and outside the house, she now predominately relies on using a manual wheelchair to be as mobile as possible. Her family purchased this for her but sadly as she becomes weaker, she is finding it harder to push herself, any distance at all in it. Kate is the type of person who loves her independence and she is finding it so difficult to cope with this and it is becoming harder and harder to leave the house for her. Although out of her friends and family someone is always there for her, in order to improve the quality of her life, experience and her ability to leave the house more safely and confidently, we are looking to raise funds to help us to purchase a foldable electric wheelchair that can be easily manoeuvred and lifted into and out of a car for her. Kate is reliant also on additional oxygen to help her with her breathing which the NHS have kindly arranged and have set up in our house, the wheelchair also supports Kate to be able to carry her portable oxygen tank around with her which helps her to be able to breathe more comfortably when she needs it and when she is out of the house. Whilst we are receiving some NHS and Macmillan assistance, this is not something that can be provided or funded without the support of others.

Things are difficult for us now financially as Kate can no longer work and whilst we receive some benefits and help, this is not enough to help us to give Kate and indeed our children, as many memories as they deserve and would cherish. I have encouraged Kate to write a ‘Bucket list of 40 things that should would love to do before she is 40’ (in an ideal world) and I am committed towards ensuring that I try to make sure that as many of these experiences happen as quickly as possible and wonderful memories are created. With this in mind, I have asked Kate to renew our wedding vows (after 11 years of marriage) and she said ‘YES!’ (despite already knowing my annoying traits and habits) and I am working towards organising a very special day and making our children and friends and family very much part of the celebration. It is taking place on Monday 28th May at St Dionysius Church in Market Harborough (where we live) followed by a small reception afterwards at ‘The Angel Hotel’ in Market Harborough. I want to remind Kate just how beautiful, how amazing and how loved she is. Friends and family are helping out with the service in as many ways as possible and I wanted to raise valuable funds to further support this in order for me to make it as special as possible for her and for her friends and family.

Being a Karate enthusiast and instructor myself and with the help of Sensei Tony Conroy, who runs Conroy Karate Club, I will be organising various fundraising karate events in the next couple of months to help to make this day happen. Alongside this I am hoping that local businesses will read our story and make any kind donations that they can (however small) to make my dream of providing Kate with an electric wheelchair, a very special wedding vow renewal celebration and to allow her to achieve as many goals and experiences from her ‘Bucket List’ as possible so as to create as many memories for her and for our amazing children to share during the short time that she has left with us all. I dread the moment that she leaves us and I want her to know how special and how amazing she is to every single person who has been part of sharing her life! We love you Kate and we know that you will fight as hard as you can to be with us for every single moment you can!

Thanking for reading our story and for any kind donations/contributions or kind words of support that you can offer. As a business, if you can offer any experience days or sessions that would help to create additional memories for our family, please do send me a message, these would also too be very, very gratefully received.

Kind wishes to all,

Richard Freer

We would also like to ask those reading and sharing our story to be mindful and sensitive to the fact that we have shared the recent news to our own children (currently 7 and 10 years old) that Kate’s cancer has returned and she is very poorly but we are going to try to shield them as far as possible from the news that the cancer is terminal (not a word that anyone ever wants to use), until closer to the time when we feel that we need to prepare them for this and just focus on creating as many happy memories as we can at this time. Thank you for being respectful of this.