I am a 40 year old woman who was diagnosed with bipolar in 2021, when I was 39 years old. Whilst I was only diagnosed in 2021, I probably had symptoms of bipolar throughout my adult life. My bipolar doesn’t define me, but for the last 16 months I have been quite poorly and with this I have made attempts to end my life.

During my time in hospital, I have discovered how poorly you are treated, if you self-harm or attempt to take your own life.

I would like to provide basic support for those who find themselves in hospital following a suicide attempt or act of self-harm through a care package.. Unfortunately with many mental health conditions, suicidal ideation is a common symptom. I understand that it is a difficult and uncomfortable subject to talk about. It is my view as a society we need to become much more comfortable with this subject. I always say to my friends, talking to me about suicidal thoughts is not going to make me more suicidal, but ignoring and evading the subject is likely to bring shame and make me more suicidal.

I want to bring kindness back to those who have harmed themselves in the hospital environment through a small, but positive gesture. As you can imagine, medical wards and emergency departments are overwhelming places where medical staff are focused on keeping people alive. Therefore, the basic emotional needs of patients who have caused self harm are often missed or ignored in that environment. One of the worse experiences I had following a suicide attempt was that I was left in muddy and wet clothes for 4 hours without being helped into dry clothes. I already felt sick as a dog and was too emotionally unwell to ask for assistance.

When you have attempted to take your life, it often takes a long time to be able to describe what has happened and reach out for loved ones. There have been times where it has taken me days to tell anyone I am in hospital. This is not because I am being difficult but because I don’t want to hurt my loved ones or the energy to explain what has happened. So it is not always easy to get your own things to the hospital, if you are lying, mute in the bed, in a state of shock. This has meant that I have slept in the same clothes for days and not brushed my teeth. You might think that a nurse will offer you basic amenities, but this doesn’t always happen and sometimes you are even too unwell to say that you would like to brush your teeth.

I therefore want to make care packages to be donated to hospitals exclusively for those who have self-harmed or attempted suicide and need to remain in hospital. Within these care packages I would like to include:

New pyjamas or leisure wear

Basic washing tools such as soap, toothbrush/toothpaste and face wipes.

A pen and paper so that patient can write down thoughts or tell staff things if too poorly to speak.

Something salty to eat (bizarre I know) but I always crave crisps following an overdose

A card listing emergency contact numbers such as The Samaritans.

A greeting card, advising that this is a care package, because people do care, wishing the person well and reminding them that suicidal ideation is transient and things will get better.

Pack to be wrapped attractively and like thought has gone into it.

I want to care about those people who don't want to live and self-harm and not punish. To provide humanity at a time that it is lacking most.