I have never thought that I would be here today and ask for help in this way. As I write this, my hands are shaking and I am filled with shame. However, I have no choice.

I am a single mum of 2 young kids, O., 2 years old, and C., 8 years old. I work. I have started my small business a couple of years ago, and it is slowly improving.

Slowly, because of the young age of my children and the attention and care they need.

In September their father left the country. I wanted him out because he's a compulsive gambler who left me with a huge amount of debts, however I asked him to stick around, for the sake of our kids, and to look after them when I went to work, as childcare would be too expensive and I couldn't afford it. Sadly, he decided he didn't want to co-parent.

So, I am left with two young kids, bills to pay, food to buy, a business to run, and now a childminder to pay. I was told that if I took on an Ofsted registered childminder, then tax credit would help me by paying up to 70% of the childminder's salary. I was already getting child tax credit, so the only thing I had to do was to call them and tell them about my change of circumstance. To cut it short, they have suspended my tax credit, in case they overpay me. At the beginning they told me it would take about 3 weeks. It's been now 6 weeks and I am sinking. I basically take my salary and hand it, as it is, to my childminder.

I have been struggling most of November, haven't paid many bills and the rent. I have visited food banks so often, they know me by first name. I am in a situation where I work, but I cannot look after my family. And if I stop to work, I cannot look after my family. I have contacted my local MP, who is very keen to help me but it will take long time to get the bureaucratic machine in motion. If I have sent one wrong paper, or I have missed out something, God only knows when they will reinstate the claim. Meanwhile I have got to work, I have got to grow my business, and I got to feed and take care of my children. And I cannot. I have arrived to such a point that tomorrow my electricity will need to be topped up, but I can't top that up because I got to pay the childminder, which costs me £15 per hour for the two kids. I work outside my home between 10 and 15 hours per week. I have resorted to have no heating on in order to save electricity.

December is going to be very quiet and I won't have many customers (I hold workshops), but in January it should pick up, as it has been the trend for the last 2 years.

I need your help to see me and my kids through this month. So, I can keep working and be able to pay the bills and buy them food.

I am asking for £1,500 so I can pay also the bills that have not been paid last month (I.e. Some of the rent, the rent of the venue where I hold my workshops, broadband, telephone, and so on).

Please help me, because I really don't know what to do anymore. I am sinking, I am desperate.

I never felt so vulnerable and broken as I am now, writing these lines. It is a very hard thing to do. But I see no other choice.

Thank you so very much for any help you can give me.

Much Love

S.

P.S.: I am keeping things anonymous because I want to protect my children's identity.