Hey all, 

I am raising money for Beat, which offers support for people affected by eating disorders. 

Eating disorder are often very misunderstood but are a serious mental illness. They are debilitating, all-encompassing and can be life threatening. 

Some of you may know that I have long endured an eating disorder since I was 13 years old. Whilst I am no longer under weight, it continues to affect my mental health, life and loved ones every now and again. Recovery is possible but, for many, it will always be something that rears it's ugly head (this is the only thing which is truly ugly).

NHS services are rammed with 6-12 month waiting lists so having alternatives, like Beat, are so important to prevent downward spirals when destructive patterns emerge. Beat also offer advice and support for loved ones, as eating disorders are not isolated to sufferers. Carers often report that supporting their loved one affects their own physical and mental health. 

Obviously you don't have to underweight or overweight to suffer from an eating disorder. Thoughts and emotions can be the most dangerous factors in an eating disorder. Loads of men and women are plagued with damaging thoughts and feelings about themselves. Feeling guilty for eating or ashamed to be themselves.

We all deserve to feel good about ourselves and appreciate our worth, regardless of appearances. Whoever you are, you deserve to see friends and family, go outside, move your body, feel sexy and wear whatever the heck you want. 

A common pattern of mine is not wanting to leave the house or see people. I am often paralysed with fear about doing this. Another common pattern of mine is not wanting to exercise because I fear 'feeling' my body and realising how weak it is. I had categorised myself as not good enough to attempt any exercise for a long time. Therefore, walking/running 10,000 steps a day has confronted me with some of my worst fears, especially when I've just wanted to hide away from the world. 

At the end of April 2021, I will have walked/ran at least 10,000 steps a day for a year. I will post evidence nearer the time, but, so far, that an average of 8.9km a day. There have been times when I've cried on a walk because I've felt so insecure. However, I've not let this de-rail me because I deserve to succeed and won't let those destructive voices win. 

I would be so grateful of any donation to help provide hope and support for those affected by eating disorders. 

Sending love, 

Molly x