November / December 2017

Anyone who knows us will know we love tea. I can’t start my day without a cup of tea, and I will always pick up a chai tea from Starbucks before work followed by a few more cups of tea throughout the day. Jay is the same, he drinks at least 5-8 cups a day.

Well that’s all going to change, for one year Jay and I will be giving up tea to help raise money for a charity very close to our hearts. 

The Winnicott Foundation raises funds to improve care for premature and sick babies through supporting the neonatal units at Queen Charlotte’s and Chelsea Hospital (QCCH) and St Mary’s Hospital. Helping families to be with their babies and helping to give premature and sick babies a better long-term future.

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I went into labour 14 weeks early, in the space of half an hour Jay and I went from drinking a cup of tea to giving birth to our gorgeous son Kai weighing only 0.844kg. Just like that our world turned upside down. A million questions ran through our heads in that one moment. Is he ok? What happens now? Where are they taking him... 

I remember doctors and nurses rushing into the room after Jay delivered Kai! The neonatal team had Kai prepared, into an incubator and in NICU so quickly I didn’t even get a chance to see him. Within minutes I went from so much noise and people to absolute silence and an empty room. In that moment I felt overwhelmed with emotion, scared, helpless and numb, I had a little cry while I was by myself and then the nurse came in and I said I need to see my baby. 

Walking into the Neonatal ward for the first time is utterly terrifying. The rigorous hand washing, sterile environment, tubes, wires, machines, that constant beeping - how is my baby here? It’s funny how quickly this world which seems so far from anything I’d experienced became my new normal and even gave me comfort. 

We’ve had many hard days since Kai was born especially with our other son at home - the constant feeling of guilt for leaving one for the other. After 3 weeks of living at the hospital I was discharged and ready to go home, but that was just me - not Kai. The first time I left the hospital was heart breaking. When you go to the hospital to have you baby you imagine you be taking your baby home with you. 

January 2018

Kai is still in neonatal ICU, he’s been through so much already. But we’ve been lucky, sadly that’s not always the case. So many babies are born premature or sick and some have a much harder journey than ours. The medical care and support they are given in those first few weeks saves lives, and the support that parents receive along the way is beyond your expectation.

While we have been at QCCH with Kai we have seen families come and go from all over the UK. It might be a while till we can take Kai home but in the meantime we want to do what little we can to help and we’d appreciate your support too. So please donate - big or small it all counts.

Later this month we will be moving to a local hospital and hopefully in the next 6-8 weeks we will be gone with Kai. All your love and prayers have kept us strong and we are forever grateful. 

February 2018

Sadly after moving to our local hospital Kai had SEPSIS so he was in isolation in the NICU. It’s been hard to sit in isolation. I’ve found real comfort in talking to other parents and sharing our stories and feelings so to be separated from everyone all day and night is tough. Thankfully the staff have kept me sane and my little Kai is amazing me everyday with his superhero skills. He’s breathing on his own after weeks and weeks of weaning him off the oxygen machine, desats, resuscitation and the rest. I long for my cuddles with him everyday. Hopefully at the end of this month he will be home with us. 

March 2018

After being incubated, coping with chronic lung disease, sepsis, apnea’s, resuscitations, desaturation, blood transfusions, phototherapy for jaundice, brains scams, eyes tests which is uncomfortable, infections, isolation, and the countless tests, tubes and cannulas - we are finally home!! We are home with Kai and our world feels so complete.

There are no words to express our immense gratitude to everyone who has supported us at this time and continues to support us in our lives. We are amazed everyday by the care Kai has received and how supportive the staff have been at QCCH and Hillingdon. They taught us how to care for our boy while he starts his life in an incubator, they helped me to feel like a mother even though I couldn’t physically feed or hold my baby and they’ve given us the tools and support we needed every step of the way. All of this has helped us get through one of the hardest times of our lives.

Thank you from me and my Darjeelings,
Anisha, Jay, Deyan and Kai x