When I was just 12 years old in 2005 my mum was diagnosed with bowel cancer. I was too young to fully understand what this meant for me and my family. My mum battled through 4 years, in and out of remission. There were several moments within those years that we seen some light at the end of the long dark tunnel. 

Things changed, very suddenly, at the end of 2010. My mum started to experience seizures and very quickly she was diagnosed with a brain tumour. By the start of 2011, as a family we realised how serious things were. That was the first time I thought to myself that cancer could actually take my mum away from me. I didn't want to think the worst but it definitely became a daily, scary thought at the back of my mind. Although she had fought cancer for 5-6 years by this point, my mum had never looked ill, or appeared to struggle. To this day, I still believe she is the strongest person I have ever met. The day my mum suffered her third seizure was the day that changed my life forever. I thankfully hadn't been around for the other two so hadn't experienced it before, but the third one I watched happen and felt like my whole world came crashing down around me. After this moment, my mum was only given anything between 2 weeks and 2 months to live. That time however was sadly spent bed ridden after cancer completely took over her body and very slowly started to shut it down. 

All of a sudden I thought of everything I would have to go through in life without the woman who had brought me up for the last 18 years and had taught me so much. She taught me the meaning of unconditional love, how to fight, how to never give up, but most importantly how to live every single day! I wasn't prepared (as no one ever is) for what my life was about to become.

June 24th 2011 - life as I had known it completely fell to pieces and all of a sudden I didn't know who I was or what I had left. I lost my mum that day to what I believe is the most horrific disease. Why? I will never know. I question that every single day, why her, why my family. I question how I'll make it through without her, but somehow I do. That doesn't mean it gets easier, and it certainly doesn't mean that I don't miss her. 

So my mum fought cancer for 6 years and in the end couldn't win the battle. 2017 brings with it her 6 year anniversary so I thought it was the year I had to challenge myself to make a difference. I want to do all I physically can to help make a, even if it's the smallest, change to anyone out there going through something similar. I will be going to the USA to run the Walt Disney World Marathon in January, then less than 4 months later will be going to London to run the London Marathon in April and will finish my challenge 5 weeks later by running the Edinburgh Marathon in May. Every penny I raise along the way will be donated to Maggies Fife - keeping your money local. You never know when you may need the help. They support family and friends of those who have cancer so it isn't just for those who are fighting the disease. 

What have I learned from my childhood? 

I had to grow up so fast. I watched the woman who loved me the most and raised me slowly be taken away from me bit by bit by a disease I didn't even understand. I learned that you never know what is coming to you so ALWAYS appreciate what you have. Show the people you love and care for what they mean. One day you might look back and think 'I wish I'd said this'... Trust me, you never want to be in that position. I also learned that life is far shorter than what you think. It's very cliche but please please live every day as if it is your last, because you never know when that'll be.

I never imagined my life to turn out how it has. I'm 23, without a mum by my side and fighting a ridiculously long uphill battle daily. Some days that hill is a little less steep but trust me, other days it still feels like a mountain. I have no doubt that the pain and heartbreak will never ease. I just hope with all I have that my mum is up there completely pain free and happy, looking down super proud.

This ones for you mum, I love you and miss you, every day! 24.06.11

Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.

Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving - they'll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they'll send your money directly to the charity. So it's the most efficient way to donate - saving time and cutting costs for the charity.