On Saturday 5^th June I will start out on my journey to attempt to run the South West Coast Path, 630 miles of brutal but stunningly beautiful coastline. The South West Coast Path is the longest of 16 national trails crossing England and Wales. It starts at Minehead in Somerset and ends at South Haven Point in Poole. It has the combined ascent almost four times that of Mount Everest!

Why? It’s to help raise awareness for mental health and suicide prevention.

I've witnessed so many people struggle with their mental health over the years, even lose their lives. In 2017 I almost lost my life due to my mental health. This cause is extremely important and means a lot to me. I know people reading this will have witnessed people battling, or indeed fight this hard battle themselves.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder type 2 in November 2016, but before then I’d been dealing with my mental health since I was teenager. It’s been one long, hard road. Not just for me but for my husband, family and friends; without these special people in my life I’d be lost.

Bipolar type 2 is diagnosed when someone’s mood swings between major episodes of depression and periods of hypomania, they can have long or short periods of stability in between these episodes.

I have spent over half my life suffering with depression, more than hypomania, but neither of these are easy, with uncontrollable mood swings that I could never understand, different medications, doctors, psychiatrists’, and at times terrifyingly dark thoughts.

The guilt and shame I felt in those dark times over the years were so hard. I would stand in front of the mirror and not recognise the person looking back at me with those dark, empty eyes. I was numb to everything and everyone I loved in my life. The overwhelming sense of
worthlessness, the loss of my personality, my caring nature gone, and my interests vanished.

The cries for help that no one can hear, the smiles and, “I’m ok’s”, hide so much pain.

I started running when I was 18 for escape and to help combat these feelings. Running has saved my life, it forms another part of my medication, it helps keep my life on an even keel; without it I think I’d fall into the abyss. When I run, I can literally turn everything off in my mind, everything just falls away, it’s freedom, solace, and my lifeline.

I think (I know) exercise is so important for your mental health and wellbeing. I’m not saying it will fix everything, and I’m not saying you need to go out and run big distances - or even run for that matter. But try and get outside for a little walk every day…. especially on those dark days…. if you can.

This challenge has given me focus and has allowed me to be open and honest and share my story in a way that I hope will inspire others to keep trying and not give up. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, you may not see it right now, but the sun will shine for you again.

Yours in understanding, always, Gilly x