Thanks for taking the time to visit my fundraising page.

So, here's why I am training to run 26.2 miles during thewinter months:

In June 2012, my wife Amy and I were expecting our first child, when during a routine check-up, a week before the due date, we received the devastating news that our baby's heartbeat could not be found.  Our world as it should have been would never be and our lives were changed forever.

Knowing what we knew at that stage, my own emotions would need to be cast aside as my focus was Amy. There were no words, no remedies and nothing that I could do to change our outcome. The feeling of helplessness that I felt was almost overwhelming; whilst grieving for our loss, Amy would need to give birth to death and all I could do was watch.

Our first-born, a daughter named Arella (meaning “angel” in Hebrew), was stillborn at 10:04 PM on 30 June 2012. She was the 1 in every 200 babies delivered that was stillborn, 1 of the 10 babies that are stillborn every day and 1 of the 3,600 stillborn every year. Sadly, stillbirth is not a rare occurrence.

Arella was perfect. With thick dark hair and delicate features, our little baby was finally with us, though our journey with her had ended before it had even began.

Amy and I spent just a few hours with Arella after her birth. It is time that we shall never forget. The midwives took handprints and footprints and a piece of her hair was cut. We took a few pictures; part of our most prized possessions. We lovingly and tearfully sat with our precious daughter, before returning her little body to the care of the Whittington Hospital staff. We left the hospital empty handed.

From the moment that we were told that our baby had died, we were greeted and treated with the utmost care and respect. Though our own tragic circumstances were magnified by the cries of joy heard from the neighbouring rooms on the maternity ward that day, when in the care of the Whittington staff, we felt safer and as at ease as we could - the manner in which we were cared for was exemplary.

The care continued through bereavement support from the Whittington team (special mention to Jane Laking, Bereavement Midwife) who cared for Amy following Arella’s stillbirth and through to the safe arrival of each of our subsequent daughters Zoe (born in 2013) and Annie (born in 2015), both of whom Jane delivered. Pregnancy following stillbirth is akin to mental tortureand the staff at the Whittington hospital all understood what a difficult time it was for Amy and I and did everything they could do to allay our fears.

The Whittington team were a lifeline when Amy and I needed them most. Their guidance through dark times helped us to find normality again.  Their presence during our most intimate moments, through both tragedy and joy, ensure a special place for them in our hearts.

Amy and I were “lucky”. Not all hospitals have allocated funds for a Bereavement Midwife and for those that do, many of them are not up to the standard that we experienced. We have met many bereaved parents, none ofwhom have this vital lifeline. Save for the one visit from the community midwife, they are left on their own, to somehow get through it alone.

Our experience taught me that the NHS is a wonderful, yet undervalued institution, filled with many good people to which and whom Amy and I owe a big thank you...

...So when Amy mentioned that the hospital trust had some marathon places available, I applied and was accepted. I decided that this was a time in my life when I could take on the training commitment, try to stay fit (and injury-free), rise to the challenge and most importantly, raise awareness of stillbirth in general and the incredible work of the Whittington Hospital staff.

It’s a small gesture of gratitude which will hopefully make my inspirations, Amy, Zoe and Annie (together with my family and friends) proud - as I am of them. And never forgetting my own guardian angel, Arella.

Arella is still a huge part of our lives and though we are still finding our way around the gaping hole her passing left behind, we count our blessings daily and are thankful for what we have been given.

I think of our beautiful Arella every day. Her legacy to me is a reminder of the miracle and fragility that is life. Nothing can be taken for granted.

Thank you so much for reading. My goals are simple:

(1) To break the taboo that surrounds stillbirth and raise awareness.

(2) To raise awareness of the outstanding work of the Maternity Services team at The Whittington Hospital and to improve the care that they provide bereaved parents of stillborn babies

(3) To keep Arella's name (pronounced "A-RELL-A") and legacy alive.

I am aiming to raise £10,000 and to try to make a real difference with the funds raised. 

Although work is being done to improve the still birth statistics in the UK, it is sadly inevitable that many other parents will find themselves in our position and I have chosen to try to focus my fundraising efforts on helping them in any way possible.

Having discussed with the maternity services team, your donation will initially help the hospital to fund a cuddle cot which allows bereaved parents to spend time with their babies (in a warm room a stillborn baby's condition can deteriorate quickly and therefore keeping the baby in a “cool cot” is essential). Further funds will pay for (amongs other things) much needed Child Bereavement UK training course on bereavement care, equipping more staff with the knowledge and understanding of caring for bereaved families (at a cost of £1,155 for one day for 20 candidates).

If you can make any donation at all, it will be truly appreciated. Amy and I are fiercely protective of Arella’s memory and want to ensure that her little life isn’t lost in vein. In this regard, if we can make even the smallest of difference to those parents who deliver their stillborn babies at the Whittington hospital, we will be continuing our precious daughters legacy.

Thank you again.

x Jonathan

(Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with Just Giving - they'll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they'll send your money directly to the charity. So it's the most efficient way to donate - saving time and cutting costs for the charity.)