Update 2021: 

Having completed the LLHM (see below) in August 2021, my training continued for me. I had a dream many years ago (circa. 1991), to run the London marathon. I 'accidentally' qualified to run in the elite marathon championships in London in 2009. 

Life had other plans. During my training I collapsed, and underwent extensive testing due to problems with my heart. A side effect of the H1N1 swine flu vaccine (USA 2009), I had developed myocarditis and pericarditis. The vaccine was subsequently withdrawn. My London marathon dreams were in tatters. I deferred my entry for 2 years, but it wasn't to be. My heart was too weak to contemplate running. I was struggling just to keep on working.

My heart was inflamed, surrounded by fluid that shouldn't be there, and couldn't beat regularly. I was suffering >1300 premature ventricular contractions per day, making me weak and tired. I was put on strong anti-arrhythmic drugs and told to give up on my running dreams.

It took 9 years to recover to where I am today. 9 years of 6 monthly ECG's, holter monitors, and regular cardiology follow ups. I still have a 1cm of fluid around the left side of my heart (pericardial effusion). Consequently I can't sleep on my right side since the fluid causes pressure, and doesn't allow my heart to beat efficiently. I am highly sensitive to medications, and some other things. A 200ml glass of Schweppes tonic water in January 2021 put my heart into a dangerous arrhythmia which took 3 months to recover from, I was barely able to walk for 3 weeks since my heart rhythm was so erratic.

I was recovered enough to run again, when Hollie arrived in our lives (see below), so my heart issues were largely side lined.

The hardest part of my heart issues, was the arrival of my second daughter Amelie. My son was so excited (and terrified) to meet his sister and it was a moment I had dreamt of after he lost Hollie. I wasn't there when they met, because I was rushed to the ECG for emergency heart monitoring, and I missed that precious moment.

15 years later this London Marathon is for me. I have a ballot entry, I've trained tirelessly, and I'm ready for one final roll of the dice. Its now or never.

"The day you give up on your dreams is the day you give up on yourself"

I continue to raise money for the Lily Foundation and their amazing work. Any money you can spare would be greatly appreciated. 

London Landmarks Half marathon for the Lily Foundation:

Six years ago, our much awaited daughter Hollie arrived in this world. We were all so very excited to complete our family, and begin our shared lives together. 

Within an hour of her birth, both Andrew and I were battling with hospital staff, to convince them their our beautiful daughter was not ok. She was pale and weak. We were told it was normal and she would be fine. Words they would live to regret.

After only briefly holding my precious little girl, she was taken away to the neonatal unit for observation. Her condition deteriorated over the first few hours, and despite scans and tests, the doctors could not tell us what was wrong. Her condition was very unstable, and she was showing no improvement. She was connected to so many wires and tubes, I was barely allowed to hold her.

Every passing hour was like a living nightmare. Every test returned more and more harrowing news. Lactic acidosis, high blood pH, hypoglycaemia, retinal clouding, intestinal blockage, and finally severe brain damage. Doctors started to avoid us because they simply didn't know what to say. Nobody made eye contact anymore, they just stared at the floor and tried to avoid speaking to us.

Eventually we were broken the news that they suspect a Mitochondrial condition called 'Mitochondrial DNA depletion'. She was not likely to survive, and that we should prepare for the worst. Our beautiful daughter was going to be taken from us after we waited so long for her. How could we tell our son that his much anticipated sister was never coming home..

Eight days after Hollie entered our lives, the decision had to be taken to turn off her ventilator. We were told that either we take the decision, or the ethics committee would take that decision for us. All the medical assistance tubes were carefully removed while I held her tightly in my arms. Her heartbeat faded fast and then our beautiful Hollie was gone forever.

On 3rd December 2013 at 8:26pm our lives as we had know them changed forever. Two emotionally dead adults and a very sad little 3 year old boy, lost and alone in a very cold world. We received no further emotional support, we were just told to go home and get on with our lives.

I found solace in the Lily Foundation. Reading about other families who had suffered the same incomprehensible situations. Shattered by the same conditions that had broken us. A meeting place for people who had joined a club they had never asked to be part of. A club you will never leave. Only people who have lost a child can really comprehend the life shattering and far reaching impact it has on every aspect of life.

I used to be a marathon runner, but since Hollie died, I have not competed. I lost my reason to run.  The stress of losing her has caused me a huge number of health issues, and auto-immune disease triggered by grief, which had robbed me of any spare energy I had.

Running the LLHM is a chance for me to support the Lily Foundation in their work, and raise money to fund research to better understand these mitochondrial disorders to try and spare other families from suffering in the way we have.

Thanks for taking the time to read my story. It would mean the world to me if you would sponsor me, for any amount. Just to know you are behind me in this race and support us as we rebuild our lives.

Much love x 

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The Lily Foundation was founded in Lily's memory, having lost her battle to Mitochondrial Disease at just eight months old. The charity aims to give hope, answers and support to the many other children and families that face the challenges of this disease today. There is no cure for this disease which is for many, debilitating and life limiting. Please stand with us and fight Mitochondrial Disease and fight for hope.