This is the last "normal" picture I have of Mum taken just before her diagnosis - a mischievous glint in her eyes at the huge plate of waffles and ice cream. A pandemic later, she's hardly recognisable as the same woman. I scrolled back through the years looking for my old Mum and finally stopped in the summer of 2018.

The caring woman who went out of her way to help others, welcoming visiting students into her home so they weren't lonely, the doting gran, the mum who was always there  - is long gone. Alzheimer's is insidious, squeezing the spirit out of Mum's brain.

Now, she doesn't even get dressed. She sits in her chair in a nightie, usually with fresh coffee stains. Her empty eyes gaze at pictures of the grandchildren she doesn't recognise, or staring at the telephone pole waiting for her seagull to appear. The mischievous glint has been replaced by a glazed dullness.

 She never makes it to the bathroom on time and now Charlie, the cat, is dead Mum has had to accept she makes the mess on the floor. Incontinence  - just a word  - It doesn't come close to the indignity of shuffling back and forth across a sticky floor in your bare feet waiting for someone to clean up behind you every day, several times a day.  We, (that's Deb my sister) clean the mess along with the care team.  Our old Mum who was always meticulous about cleanliness - it doesn't cost anything to have clean net curtains was her mantra - would be horrified that it's impossible to disguise the pervasive smell of wee. She's frightened and that makes her angry.

On bad days mum can be challenging, swearing hurtful abuse - just at Deb and me. Last week after a bout, Mum suddenly said she loved me. I ignored it and carried on trying to clean her while holding my breath, as she sat on the toilet.  I was tired, no excuse. Mum asked again: "did you hear what I said?"  I looked into her tired eyes and for a second she was back. I put my arms around her and said, with tears suddenly welling, that I loved her too. She look confused by my tears.

All the money  you help me raise for ARUK this year will go to the EDoN project, which is working on early diagnosis, using digital technology. Alzheimer's starts decades before the memory loss appears and if it can be detected earlier, scientists think they could find a way of developing preventive treatments.

It's incredible there are more nerve cells connectors in the brain than stars in our galaxy. Every now and again I see a trace of Mum come back, a little star burst as she remembers  the girl in the picture is my daughter - her granddaughter. And in a flash it's gone. 

We knew something was going wrong for years - going to Asda to buy  four legs of lamb for Easter when no one eats lamb,  was odd.  The EDoN project could be the revolution in diagnosis  that could save the devastating impact Alzheimer's has, but it's going to take a lot of money.

So how about this... I  put in hours of training four times a week just so I can run the course and you donate anything £1, £5, £10 . Alzheimer's is not pretty,  it's all so very sad. Please help if you can..