Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page. Please do read on if you would like to know more about my fundraising.
In 2011 I received a diagnosis of PTSD with disassociative disorder caused by childhood trauma after a short spell in hospital. This was something I had never heard of and an illness that was often blamed as something else. On top of this I also suffer from Body Dysmorphia, severe anxiety and spinal degenerative disease. Our son had also received an ASD diagnosis and we were on a sharp learning curve as well as moving house (again)
I was lucky enough to have a fantastic team that helped me through my diagnosis and find ways in which I could find the strength to help me combat the demons that are ever present. The ones that prevented me from even answering the phone or door, opening the curtains or asking for help. At my lowest, self harm and self destruct were my allies.
Through this journey I met fantastic friends also going on their own journey. I also lost many friends along the way who just couldn't understand. It was a very isolated journey.
After succesfully completeing 3 years of therapy I needed to set myself another goal to challenge myself and for me that was joining the gym. I couldn't look in the mirror and I was terrified of what people thought but I explained all of this to my instructor and she gave me full support to get in there and crack on - this was my big turn around. Fitness became my escape. I stopped smoking and started to eat properly, something I haven't done since I was a teen. At times I have struggled as I have gained weight through fitness but again, my new instructor understands and supports me through this journey.
As I am a non-runner my goal this year is to complete the Stafford Half marathon and later on the Birmingham full. At the end of last year I managed to run the MoRun in Birmingham which is 10km. There are days when I feel that there is no way that I will ever manage this, the demons are critical and my body feels like it is letting me down - BUT the stubborness that has helped me through the hardest times will get me through this.
Please help support my journey. I am not just running for PTSD but for all Mental Health problems. No one should be scared to ask for help and without people openly discussing and raising awareness, stigma will always be present.
PTSD will always be with me but it doesn't have to rule me!
