For reasons unbeknown to myself, I have readily agreed to run 5 kilometers in aid of Refuge. 

 

I will brave freezing conditions, London smog, battle against my overiding hatred of any excersize, and face extreme ridicule while dressed in a Santa Outfit, in order to raise some much needed funds for women and children experiencing domestic violence.

 

I find it inconcievable that for some people, home is not a place of safety, love and shelter. For some, home means constant tirades of verbal abuse, a steady grinding down of self esteem, self worth and independance. For others, home means broken bones, heads slammed against walls and 'walking into cupboard doors'. Shockingly, two women die every week from domestic violence. Which means that it is a massive problem in society because it occurs behind closed doors, and elicits a complicit silence from those affected and a repulsed ignorance by those informed.

For me, the work that Refuge does saves lives, and also helps to rebuild lives that are broken by domestic violence. Christmas is an important time for these families- a woman and her children fleeing abuse may have left home with nothing and rely on Refuge for christmas presents and a bit of christmas cheer, whilst those that stay could face more violence. Please check out their website for more information, but to give you an idea of how the money you give will help these women, here are just some of the fantastic services that Refuge offers:

24-hour National Domestic Violence Helpline

The 24-hour National Domestic Violence Helpline, run in partnership with Women's Aid, is there for every woman, all the time. Staff on the helpline give emotional support and practical information, and refer women to refuges across the UK.

Refuges

A network of safe houses that offers women emergency accommodation and the time and space to make decisions about the future.

Outreach services

Outreach services that support women within their home and when they move from a refuge into a new community.

Campaigns and Lobbying

Refuge works alongside MPs, ministers and ploicymakers to ensure policies and legislation give abused women adn children the protection and services they deserve. Refue also produces award-winning campaigns designed to raise awareness of domestic violence.

 

Domestic violence is really frightening, and we can all help to stop it. I really hope that by running for Refuge, if I can make one person stop and reassess their own prejudices and thoughts about domestic violence, I have done something good for Christmas.

 

I am so so appreciative of your support, please give as much or as little as you like.

 

Thanks so much,

 

love love!

 

Laura xxx

 

 

 

P.S. Here are some more statistics on domestic violence in the UK, and some common myths that mean many people don't understand domestic abuse and its effects. Please read on if you are interested.....

 

2 women are killed each week by a current or former partner (Homicide Statistics, 1998) - 1 woman killed every 3 days

On average, a woman is assaulted 35 times before her first call to the police. (Jaffe 1982)

Every minute police in the UK receive a domestic assistance call - yet only 35% of domestic violence incidents are reported to the police. (Stanko 2000 & Home Office 2002)

 

What causes domestic violence?

• Domestic violence is caused by the abuser's desire for power and control.
• It stems from an imbalance of power between the sexes.
• It is not caused by alcohol, drugs, unemployment, stress or ill health. These are only excuses or justifications for an abuser's behaviour.
  
• A combination of factors allows it to continue:
  - individual experiences of abusers and the abused (jealousy, fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, stress);
  - society's inadequate response (eg failure to prosecute, insufficient housing, lack of childcare, tendency to blame the abused woman) all of which are contributory factors;
  - society's stereotypical beliefs and negative attitudes about the roles of men and women (e.g. "love, honour and obey" and "you made your bed, you lie in it")
• It continues because men are allowed to get away with it.

 

Domestic violence is a crime. We all have a role to play in ending it

 

Myth: It only happens in poor families on council estates.

Anyone can be abused, no matter where they live or how much income they have. Abused women come from all walks of life and there are no exceptions. You only have to think of the celebrities we hear about in the papers to realise that money cannot protect you from domestic violence.

Men who abuse women are as likely to be lawyers, accountants and judges as they are milkmen, cleaners or unemployed.

 

Myth: More women would leave if the abuse was that bad.

There are many reasons for staying with an abusive partner. The abused woman may fear what her partner will do if she leaves, or she may believe that staying with him is better for the children.

There are also practical considerations to take into account. She may not have access to money, or anywhere to go. She may not know where to turn for help, particularly if English is not her first language. And when she is emotionally and financially dependent on her partner she can be very isolated.

 

Women from different cultures can find it particularly difficult to leave an abusive man as this would bring shame on both themselves and their family. They may feel they are betraying their community if they contact the police.

 

An abused woman's self-esteem will have been steadily worn down. She may not believe she will manage on her own, or that she has any other options. She may have been brainwashed into thinking she's worthless. She will feel ashamed of what has happened and perhaps convinced it is her fault.

She hopes her partner will change. She remembers the good times at the start of the relationship and hopes they will return. In emotional terms she has made a huge investment in the relationship and she wants it to work.

 

Myth: Domestic violence is a private matter, you shouldn't get involved.

For too long domestic violence has been allowed to happen behind closed doors. People think what goes on in the home is private, and not their problem.

 

Domestic violence is a crime. It is against the law.

We are all affected by domestic violence, and we all have a responsibility to speak out against it. Only then will we end it.