Well, hello everyone. As the title suggests I am trying to lose a huge 4 and a half stone for charity. The charity I have picked is OCD Action. Not many people know that I have struggled with my mental health for many years, since the age of 10 I have suffered from OCD and later depression and anxiety. One of the worst episodes was whilst I was pregnant, during which I had terrible intrusive thoughts. People think that OCD is compulsive cleaning, having things a certain way or switching things on and off a certain number of times etc.. which it can be and this side of the illness can be life consuming, but another side of OCD are intrusive thoughts. These are thoughts, obsessions and compulsions which can literally take over your everyday life. It is a difficult thing to explain so I have looked up a definition:
An intrusive thought is an unwelcome involuntary thought, image, or unpleasant idea that may become an obsession, is upsetting or distressing, and can feel difficult to manage or eliminate. When such thoughts are associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), depression the thoughts may become paralyzing, anxiety-provoking, or persistent. Intrusive thoughts, urges, and images are of inappropriate things at inappropriate times, and generally have aggressive, sexual, or blasphemous themes.
I was doing really well when I was pregnant then, 1 day at about 20 weeks, I simply woke up one morning with all-consuming horrible intrusive thoughts that came from absolutely nowhere. From that moment on they consumed every single waking moment of my life. I was in a constant state of panic and had extreme anxiety... and that was it, this carried on through my whole pregnancy and a significant amount of time afterwards. I'm not going to go into what the thoughts were as this is not what's important, the point is the thoughts can be about anything at all (usually thoughts full of dread, fear and hopelessness) and they eat away at the sufferer like a cancer. A time in mine and Jonathan's life which should have been one of the happiest times of our lives together was taken away from us, as all mental illnesses affect partners, families and friends of sufferers too. This is another reason charities like OCD Action are so important, when I first woke up with these thoughts I felt so alone, they were so intense that I didn't think I could live with them, l honestly felt like I was going insane, until I went to see the doctor and he referred me to a councillor who assured me that I wasn't alone and diagnosed me with OCD & Intrusive Thoughts. Talking to her made me realise I had been suffering with OCD in some form or another since I was 10 years old.
A forum where sufferers can come together and share their Intrusive Thoughts with other sufferers who understand, and where they know they wont be judged is SO important, it really and truly can be a life line.
I have always struggled with my weight and I believe this is linked to my depression (as well as liking cake of course!!). For ages I've been wanting to raise money for this charity so I kept saying to myself "once I lose the weight I can do a half marathon or a cycling event or something physical like that, so time went on and my weight yoyos up and down as usual and I realise...I'm never gonna be fit enough to do any of those ideas. THEN I thought...hang on why don't I lose the weight for charity????!!!!!! This charity is so close to my heart it will surely spur me on!! So here I am asking for your donations for a very worthy cause :)
UPDATE.......So, as you may have noticed I have changed the title of my challenge...this is because since my prescription was changed I am finding it impossible to lose weight and infact I am actually gaining, I have worked really hard to try to shift the weight with plenty of excersise and obviously watching what I eat, but it just isn't happening. The doctor has confirmed that the medication is the most probable cause as weight gain is one of the common side effects.....So i've been feeling sorry for myself, feeling like a complete failure which has been causing me a great deal of anxiety (which has a knock on effect on my other mental health issues). Then i thought, well Laura, just change the challenge!!!! So, from 10th July (after our holiday) to 8th January (6 months) I'm planning on walking 800 MILES which works out at over 4 miles EVERY SINGLE DAY. I decided on this because it it still based on fitness but without the worry of what the scales are saying. Also It will be easy to keep you all updated with my activity tracker stats so everyone can see how I'm progressing.
I really hope that everyone that has donated so far wont feel too let down by the change of plan I'm so dissapointed not to have achieved my first goal but hopefully this one will go more to plan!! Thanks again so very much to everyone who has donated so far...It truly means so much to me!
Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving - they'll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they'll send your money directly to the charity. So it's the most efficient way to donate - saving time and cutting costs for the charity.
You can also donate by simply texting LAUZ63 and the number of pounds you would like to donate (eg LAUZ63 £5) to 70070.