None of us realise the Painful truth of depression and suicide. From the average university student to the multimillionaire, none of us are immune to this terrifying feeling which can strike at any moment. 

Most of you don’t know my story and it’s one I should openely discuss with people but always felt uncomfortable with the stigma attached. Telling my story today could give someone else that is in the same position I was a year ago the faith and hope that there will be better days to come.

I’ve been battling with depression for many years but never realised i was covering it up with substance abuse. I picked up an alcohol dependencey at a young age spending the majority of my free time drunk just to numb the pain I was going through. This then turned into a weed dependency the older I got, I became more conscious of the fact alcohol was bringing out violent behaviours which I hated. Weed would calm me down but to the point I would avoid doing anything and spent a lot of time procrastinating and doubting my abilities. 

Self doubt then turned into hating myself, not being comfortable in my own skin. I stopped taking care of myself and even hated looking at myself in the mirror, I hated my own company and would spend 99% of my time trying to find someone to be around.

The 13th May marks a year since I overdosed on 42 pills and tried to take my own life, luckily I was found in just enough time to counteract the pills and following a week in hospital I made a recovery.

Suicide was and still is something I wouldn’t of seen myself doing but the reality of life is that you never know what’s going to happen in the future. I was in a really rough place for many years with a very limited support network and the lack of information on how to heal and progress to a healthy life again. 

I was given another chance to make a difference, so to celebrate coming this far I’ll be jumping out a plane at 15000ft on the 12th May and helping raise money for PAPYRUS

As a society we need to start educating young adults on their behaviours and be more conscious of how they’re using substances which are socially acceptable but are masking the root cause of the issue. People that attempt suicide don’t do it for attention, they simply believe there’s no way out and they want some peace. 

We’re all entitled to inner peace so next time someone says they’re struggling with their thoughts, don’t lecture them about it being “selfish” just give them a listening ear and some comforting advice. We don’t want bright flashing banners saying “get better soon” we need just 1 non judgmental ear to listen.  

Suicide is the biggest killer of young people under 35 in the UK. PAPYRUS is the national charity for the prevention of young suicide and believes that many young suicides are preventable. They operate HOPELINEUK, a confidential call, text, and email helpline for young people with thoughts of suicide or those concerned about a young person who may have thoughts of suicide. Every £5 raised can help pay for a potentially life-saving contact to HOPELINEUK from a young person wanting to stay safe from their thoughts of suicide. Thank you.