Nickie's Mega trek to raise awareness
Nickie Hersey is raising money for Both Parents Matter
Story
Having a father is a human right.
No child should be denied their human right to a father.
I was a dad just like any other, nothing special, nothing different, just trying my best to be the best dad I could be to my amazing 2 children. Clubs in the evenings, activities and duvet days at the weekends, then my world came tumbling down around me.
When my marriage broke down, I found myself in a very dark place and this meant that I ended up loosing the one thing I cared about most, my children. I have seen one of my children 1 time in nearly 5 months with it now being a 4 months and the other I haven’t seen at all in 5 months. That means, no parents evening triumphs, no Christmas Day excitement and what I’m really missing … no duvet day movie marathons.
I’m sure that some of you are reading this at 4 in the morning because your child woke you up for one reason or another and you are grumpy because of it, I would do all the 4am wake up calls if it meant that I could see my children’s faces again I would do all the bedtime battles and the poonami explosions just so I could look my little boy and girl in the eye and tell them I love them.
I am currently battling to get my children back in my life like they should be, I’ve filled out the forms, spent hours talking to solicitors and the worst thing… thinking about the money and how I’m going to afford it. This is not a unique experience, I know this. I know that there are thousands of dads around the uk that just like me, that are trying to fight for their children and don’t have the money or don’t have the fight left in them because all they see is darkness and see no end, no way out ….
That was me, I’ve been there but WE CAN’T GIVE UP, our children need us, just as much as they need their mums. 20% of male suicide (which is 5 times higher than women) is due to separation and restricted contact of their children and men going through this challenging period find getting out of bed hard let alone fighting the hardest fight of there lives where one wrong move impacts the children and thier lives forever. I’ve been there, second guessing every move I make and thinking everything would be easier for everyone if…. I’ve realised now that everything wouldn’t be easier and actually my children need ME cheering them on at the side lines of sports day, holding the back of a bike as they learn to ride and talking them through the maths problem they don’t understand. I’m not saying a mum couldn’t do this but I’m am saying if it’s possible a child needs both parents to flourish.
This is where my challenge comes in, I am walking from our family home in Bracknell, England to Paris, France on my own, with a tent on my back and a phone in my pocket (with the pictures of my children to help me through the tough days) . I’m giving myself 12 days although I hope to complete this is 10 - I have done this before, a long time ago so I know I can do it, I just want to prove that I will walk 500 mile and I will walk 500 more, just like the pretenders sang, I just wish that I could turn up at their door at the end of it all.
I hope that with the money raised, that hopefully you will donate, will be able to help a father get their children back, just like I’m trying to do. I want to give (with your help) just one dad a little bit of hope, a little bit of help and a whole lot of love! I will be honest with you all though, I’m not doing this totally selflessly. I know that this trip will give me the headspace I need to continue this fight to get my children back without the stresses of the world around me.
So please give big, give small, give nothing but please just pass my story along and hopefully it will give the person that needs it the hope that they need to know it will get better and
WE WILL GET OUR CHILDREN BACK!
Parental divorce or separation should not mean that children lose the love and care of one of their parents.
Families Need Fathers seeks to obtain the best possible blend of both parents in the lives of children; enough for the children to realise that both parents are fully involved in their lives. Legally, parents should be of equal status. Responsibilities and obligations, caring and financial, should be fairly shared between the parents.
- Children have a right to a continuing loving relationship with both parents
- Children need to be protected from the harm of losing contact with one parent
- Both parents should be treated equally and shared parenting should be encouraged
- Each parent has a unique contribution to make to their children's development
- The Family Courts should be backed by a nationally funded mediation service
- Litigation is not the preferred route for resolving post separation children's matters
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