Thanks for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page.

We will be holding a charity dance & raffle in the Railway Club, Fort William, 17th June 2011 at 8pm - late. If you would like to donate please do so. For anymore infor please phone 700792 or FB me.

Michael and I were expecting our first baby on 9th July 2009. It was not planned but we were so excited! It wasnt the easiest of pregnancies right from the beginning with me being hospitalised a few times due to suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum. I had also been in hospital when i was 28 weeks pregnant and received steroid injections just incase "baby came along", they were so close to sectioning me, but the next day i had a scan and and a heart beat monitor.....he was fine so we went home happy.

It was the May Day bank holiday in 2009, i was 31 weeks and 3days pregnant. We'd been home for the weekend and i hadnt really been aware of baby's movements. We got home and later phoned NHS 24 as i hadnt felt the baby move in a while (but since he wasnt very active to start with this was "normal") i was told to go for a bath and if nothing had changed by the morning go to the hospital. So this was what i intended to do, however, they phoned me back about 5 minutes later and told me to get to the hospital immeidately. I hated going to the hospital as this usually meant being kept in and Michael being home alone worrying so i was very reluctant...maybe deep down i knew what was about to happen!?

We had a "listen in" booked with the midwife for the Wednesday so when waiting in the hospital i kept trying to reassure Michael (and myself) that it was all ok and we'd hear him on Wednesday and that all this fuss was just as they kept telling us "a lazy baby". Even though deep down in the pit of my stomach i feared the worst.

The midwife tried to listen in using the pads on my belly....nothing but then this was usual for Kyle. She then tried the normal hand held machine.....nothing. She tried a portable scan machine to see if she could see the heart beat....nothing. She then called a registrar to see if she could find anything...there was a"possible movement" but her obvious frustration told us differently although we clung to this chance. We then had to wait for the consultant to come down, we still hadnt officially been told so there was still a glimmer of hope. The consultant came down we were moved into a private room where he done another scan.....nothing.... he tried again....nothing...his face told us before his words did, our baby had died.

I was sent home to return the next day for an official scan which confirmed it, our beautiful little baby who we had began planning for, bought toys and clothes for was going to live in heaven instead of coming home with us. On Wednesday 6th May at 2338 Kyle was born after a 13 hour labour i would have been 32weeks pregnant. He was perfect, he had 10 tiny fingers and 10 tiny toes he had the most beautiful lips and slept so soundly in his daddys arms, he weighed 980g. He was the size of a 28weeks old baby...he hadnt grown in the 4 weeks since my last scan!

We had him blessed the next morning and then had to leave him in the hospital all alone which was the hardest thing we have ever done! Now all i have of my beautiful baby boy Kyle is a recording on my phone of his heatbeat (which i had to sneak as i was told off for doing it) and a box which contains his footprints, handprints and a lock of his hair and a gravestone in the most beautiful spot in Kilmallie. We miss him everyday and need to do something to repay this fantastic charity.

The midwife wold us about SANDS and they were amazing. They are an amzing charity who do amzing work. Sadly stillbirth and neonatal death is still a taboo subject but ti shouldnt be!! 17 babies A DAY in the UK alone 10 of which will be born asleep and 7 will die shortly after being born. This is 17 babies too many!!!

If you need anymore information on the charity please visit http://www.uk-sands.org/Home.html

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