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Vicky's story

 

As you may know, my partner Matt and I had to go through an experience that you would not wish on your worst enemy. At 28 weeks pregnant we had found out that our baby daughter Phoebe had died. Please bear with me as I try to explain our story so that it makes you aware of just how much heartache that preeclampsia can cause if not treated or diagnosed in time.

Throughout my pregnancy as soon as I hit the third trimester I started to get swelling really badly to my feet, ankles and even my legs. Every time I queried this with my midwife I just got told that as it was just my legs and not my hands or face that it was nothing to worry about – it was just a normal side effect to pregnancy.

On Sunday 2 March I had pain like stomach cramps under my ribs all day as well as sickness and diarrhoea. I explained these symptoms to Matt who was straight away concerned and worried. After a few hours in the evening of getting worse we called the maternity unit for some advice. After being told to try a number of different things we were advised to go into the hospital to be assessed and to make sure that everything was ok.

When we were waiting in the assessment room for the midwife, I started to try and convince myself that everything would be fine and we would be sent home in a few hours – how wrong was I! After seeing 2 midwives and 2 doctors we were then told the heart breaking news that there was no heartbeat.

We were shown into a private room where I was hooked up to all kinds of machines, had needles inserted into every access point in my arms and told that I would have to give birth to my baby. My blood pressure reached a dangerous 244 over 140 – the highest blood pressure the medical team had ever seen. Not only had preeclampsia caused this to happen to Phoebe, my life was also very much in danger as preeclampsia causes the death of around 6 women a year. I, Matt and our families could not believe that this was happening. As soon as the doctor saw the swelling to my legs and asking what seemed a thousand questions he came to the conclusion that no one else could - that I had preeclampsia.

On Tuesday 4 March at 6.14am Phoebe Janet Rose Audley was born weighing a tiny 1lb 3oz and measuring 20cm long. Lying there afterwards I just felt numb and very strange. This wasn’t how this was supposed to be – our baby should be crying. In the evening we had a naming ceremony for Phoebe with family and close friends present. Afterwards my brothers, Richard and Tony were trying to find words of comfort for me and Matt. It was then that they come up with the idea of doing the Great South Run. I thought these were just words until the next day when they informed us that they had both entered the run, been in contact with a charity and had set up the fund raising page.

Not many people know the signs to look out for when it comes to preeclampsia. The main signs are; swelling to hands, face, feet and ankles, high blood pressure, protein in urine, pain under the ribs, problems with vision such as blurred vision and bad headaches. Out of these symptoms I had 4 out of the 6 and yet it was not picked up until it was too late that I had the condition. If it had been picked up something could have been done and this could be a whole lot of a different story and outcome.

The whole thing still feels like a bad dream that we are going to wake from and find that I am still pregnant with everything still to look forward to and that this has been a story I have read about someone else.

We would do anything to change what has happened, to bring Phoebe back but we can’t. The money that has so far been raised is amazing and is going to make a huge difference to diagnosing and treatment of preeclampsia. The more money that can be raised the more midwives that can be trained and the more information that can be given and shared. We hope that no other parent has to go through this. It is not right to be choosing what you would like to have for your baby’s funeral when you should be picking out nursery furniture, baby grows and baby names.

All we can say is a massive thank you to those that have made a donation and to those that are thinking about it, what is there to think about? Please give as much or as little as you can. Just think of our little Phoebe, what we have been through and the difference you can make.

My story

On the morning of Monday 3rd March, my family received the sad news that the baby girl my sister was expecting in May had sadly died, my sister was 28 weeks pregnant and the baby had sadly died due to pre-eclampsia.

Whilst having to deal with the fact the baby had sadly died my sister and her partner Matt had to deal with the agonising prospect of Vicky having to go through the traumatic experience of labour and giving birth. Matt also had Vicky to worry about as she had a dangerously high blood pressure with the midwife saying Vicky's blood pressure was the highest she had seen in her 14 year experience. At 06.14 on Tuesday 4th March 2014, little Phoebe was born weighing a tiny 1lb 3oz and measuring only 20cm.

Later that day, the family and close friends of Matt and Vicky had a blessing, standing there looking at my little sister looking at Phoebe with a look of complete sadness will stay with me for the rest of my life and I felt as though I could do nothing to help my sister. After the blessing, my brother and I tried to find words to comfort Matt and Vicky. Then from somewhere failing to find things new to say, I mentioned doing something for charity like the Great South Run. Things moved on from there really when I received a text from my brother on Wednesday morning asking if I was still up for doing the  South Run, to which I replied the 5k or the 10 mile which is the Great South Run, and to my shock my brother replied the 10 mile as the 5k is for pansies. I text him about action on pre-eclampsia and he emailed them to which he received a reply offering the charities full support. By that evening we had both entered and been on our first of many training sessions in preparation. I was in agony but like I said to my brother when we complete the 10 miles, which I will finish first, the pain we feel will be nothing compared to the emotional pain Matt and Vicky are feeling.

So please, please take a little time to donate as much or little in memory of little Phoebe and to help the charity Action on Pre-Eclampsia continue the good work they do and find ways of helping research this field so that the number of families who have to go through what my family have been through can hopefully be reduced, here's an idea of how the money that is donated will help action on pre - eclampsia, £20 will pay for 100 leaflets to be sent out to hospitals and the general public, £50 will pay for enough fact sheets to last for three months, £100 will support an expert referral, £500 will provide 50 hours of helpline support for women worried about pre-eclampsia, £750 will train 10 midwives specifically in identifying pre-eclampsia and £1,000 will pay for 15,000 leaflets to be distributed to pregnant women

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