Thank you for taking the time to visit my JustGiving page in memory of my mum, Sandra.

In September 2010 mum was diagnosed as having Cancer of Unknown Primary (CUP), a form of cancer we had not heard of until that point. Unfortunately, this cancer is harder to treat given the uncertainty of the primary site, which, as in my mum's case, was never discovered. Although a very large (Krukenberg) tumour was removed from mum’s ovary in August 2010, mum was informed that the secondary, peritoneal carcinoma was inoperable, and that the form of cancer she had was very aggressive. We were devastated, but felt more hopeful when chemotherapy was offered, albeit palliative, to try to keep the cancer under control.

Mum began chemotherapy in October 2010. It was a gruelling regime of 3 drugs, given intravenously and by tablet form, over a 16 week period. Mum had many hospital appointments, accompanied by family and lovely friends. She was strong and courageous during this, even though the chemotherapy made her very sick.

From the time mum was diagnosed myself, my sister, Charlotte, and Uncle, Colin, researched her illness to try to clarify different treatment options. Through doing so we became quite desperate when we realised how serious and life-limiting the illness was, and how little research there appeared to be regarding treating. My mum never wanted to know her prognosis (until several weeks prior to her death), and we largely kept this information from her, although of course she had some idea given that she knew it was inoperable.

When mum's chemo finished in January 2011, she had a scan in February, and to our absolute joy in March we were told there was no sign of the cancer. Following the appointment Mum, Charlotte, Colin and I went to the restaurant at the Tate Modern for a celebratory lunch!!

Following the good news in March mum had a period of 3 months with no treatment, and lived with the possibility of hope. She began to travel again, as she loved going on holiday with friends and family. She lived her life to the full throughout most of her life, and continued to do this. In May/June 2011 a big group of family and friends attended the wedding of two good friends near to Barcelona. Mum had such a good time, drinking, eating and generally making very merry! This was the last family holiday we would take with my mum.

On the 25 June 2011, during a visit to Cornwall with her parents to visit her brother and his family (she had driven down and seemed very well at this point), mum was suddenly taken very ill, the day before her 58th birthday. She managed to fly home on the 29th June and I collected her from the airport. She was so unwell and in so much pain that I drove her straight to hospital.

Mum spent the next 3 weeks in hospital, receiving a varying quality of treatment and care. Several blockages in her intestine were identified, caused by the cancer spreading. She was unable to eat or drink without experiencing severe pain, and lost a terrible amount of weight in a short time. It was decided to try to her on chemo again, and she managed this twice. She had to make the journey from her local hospital to Barts, London, to do so, and was heroic in her attempt to undergo treatment, given the severity of the symptoms she was now experiencing.

Mum came home at the beginning of August. She shared with me that she felt she was getting weaker every day, and was unsure whether she would make it. Day by day she deteriorated, and she endured a lot of discomfort and pain at times, as the location of the cancer made it harder to manage.

It became apparent that mum’s condition was not improving in spite of the chemo, and she was told she was too unwell for treatment to continue. Mum bravely took the step of asking how long she had left, and she was told only short weeks. Mum remained courageous, full of humour, and gave so much love to her family and friends in the final weeks and days of her life.

Mum died on the 20 August 2011, at home, with her parents, daughters, brother, sister, and close friend by her side. She was very much loved, and is terribly missed by all of us, including her three young grandsons, who she saw daily.

My mum was an intelligent, extremely witty, irreverent, friendly and caring woman, who had many close friends. Her profession involved helping vulnerable people, and her colleagues have shared with me the positive impact she had on many.

We want to honour my mum's memory and raise money for the Rarer Cancer Foundation. Mum and my Uncle spoke to a worker, Cathy Bouvier, at the charity at one stage during her illness, and were offered kindness, reassurance and hope. These were qualities not often on offer from the variety of professionals we dealt with during mum's illness. 

We look forward to supporting the work of a charity which aims to help people in my mum's position, by providing emotional support, as well as looking to research new treatments for all types of rare cancer. Please help us in memory of my mum, Sandra.

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