Andy Dargue

Charity evening for the MS Society

Fundraising for Multiple Sclerosis Society
by 24 supporters
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Participants: Ste Dargue
Multiple Sclerosis Society

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RCN 1139257
We are the MS Society. We are strong enough to stop MS together.


The lads from the local bike club are holding a charity night in memory of my brother Ste on 27 November 2009 to raise money for the MS Society.

Ste passed away at 9:30 on May 28 2009 and if you read further down you can see why the lads thought this night was warranted.

The charity evening will take place at St Patrick's community centre on Cranworth Street, Thornaby-on-Tees.

The night will consist of a band, bingo and a raffle, amongst other things, and the tickets are £3 each - please drop me an email if you want some (you can also pay on the door).

As Ste rarely wore anything other than combats, camouflage and leather please feel free to turn up in any combination of them but it's not compulsory :)

If you cannot attend but still want to make a donation please use this page to do so, and thank you.

Also, if you would like to donate any prizes for the raffle, again please let me know.

On May 24 my 39 year old brother Ste was taken into the Emergency Assessment unit at the local hospital with a suspected chest infection, however, 3 years earlier he had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and it had not been kind to him and was very aggressive so by this point he was virtually bed bound. So, being too weak to fight the infection it progressed to full blown pneumonia and he was admitted into hospital and then a day later into intensive care.

He was making good progress and on the Tuesday afternoon the nurses were actually looking to discharge him back to the ward but at 5pm he started to deteriorate and by the time I arrived back at 6pm things were not looking good at all.  Ste was very poorly and unresponsive.

On Wednesday morning were we told that we was not responding to treatment and that the ventilator was now keeping him alive rather than just helping him so we should make arrangements for any family and friends to come in as soon as possible.

Now, Ste knew that this was coming, although not so soon, so he had made his preparations - he was a registered organ donor and had also specified that the relevant tissues be donated to the MS Society for research.

This meant that we had to set a time to withdraw treatment and give the surgical team the best chance to make use of the organs and tissues.

We agreed that treatment would be withdrawn at 9pm on the Thursday night (28 May).

On Thursday morning I arrived to find Ste a lot more alert, but obviously still very ill, so I sat with him and went through what would happen at 9pm and reassured him that everything he wanted had been set up and that the surgical teams were on standby. He again confirmed that this is what he wanted to happen.

Most of the family and friends were able to come and say their goodbyes throughout the afternoon and evening.

Now Ste was a huuuuge Metallica fan, had seen them live a few times, and always had it playing whenever I visited him. All during the hospital stay me, and the nurses, kept the CD player topped up with album after album (luckily he was in an area by himself so we were allowed fairly decent volume :)

Ste had already told us that Nothing Else Matters (S&M Live version) should be played at his funeral, although as I said he didn't expect that to be anytime soon.

He also asked for this to be playing as we turned off the machines etc.

At 9pm I set the CD to repeat and my mum, her sisters and I gathered round the bed as the ventilator was turned off. Ste passed away within half an hour, quickly and with no pain, hand in hand with me and with Nothing Else Matters playing in the background. The words were so fitting, possible too fitting

All of the nurses, orderlies, consultants and donor co-ordinators where hugely impressed with his bravery as usually these things are pre signed and not something that is further discussed with the actual donor on the day.

And there are now two ladies enjoying their life thanks to Ste's generosity in leaving his organs.

I have to give maximum respect to Ste for the way he conducted himself throughout - I thought I knew him well but he surpassed all of my expectations and I only hope I can be half as brave when my time comes.

Love you bro and glad you've gone on to a better place - Respect mate

As you can see from the photo's I had the coffin custom painted and a number of the lads attended the funeral on their bikes to give Ste a proper send off .

I hope this conveys why we feel this night is deserved so please come along or give what you can and thanks again


PS The £400 already donated was from the funeral collection.

About the charity

Multiple Sclerosis Society

Verified by JustGiving

RCN 1139257
Over 150,000 of us in the UK have MS. It’s unpredictable and different for everyone. But it doesn’t have to be this way. We’re the MS Society. We understand what life’s like with MS. We're here for you through the highs, lows and everything in between. Together, we are strong enough to stop MS.

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